I graduated at age 21 and began working as an engineer. That’s what I have seen all my life at home as well. Both of my parents are professionals and have worked all their lives, so for me that is the norm.

When I moved from my home country to Houston, Texas (actually to the subs) I started doubting myself as a working mom. All my friends are SAHM, (some of them not by choice) but they have been so supportive. They even try to schedule the get-togethers on my day off and even if they know I won’t be able to attend they let me know anyway. But of course I always feel like the alien or the misfit. The center of the topic? Not work related- it is about daycare, kids, the latest exercise at the gym, the great offer at the supermarket or the coffee meeting in the middle of the week. It is difficult for me and I often doubt myself.

But in moments like now when I am in maternity leave with my second baby, being at home doesn’t look that appealing, and believe me I feel terrible to even say it! I’m terrified by the thought of not being able to take my toddler to daycare because she is sick and I would have to stay home with both of them. I feel overwhelmed and anxious being at home watching the hours go by.

Of course my perspective is tricky. I just had a baby and I know I should be doing nothing but resting and taking care of my new baby, but I feel like I should take this time and do “at home” things I always say I don’t have time for. That’s why I try to get on schedule. I have my agenda and a list of things I want to do at home before I return to work; get togethers with my SAHMs, have that morning coffee with them, watch the TODAY show and Dr. OZ. I am even taking time to write this and I am discovering that I like writing and I find it therapeutic.

I, like everybody else, want the best of both worlds; to have the income of an engineer, work maybe half a week and the other half be at home. That would be AWESOME! Don’t you SAHMs think the same? Do you ever wonder or miss work? Or am I just nuts and a bad mom?

Beatriz Olmedillo

My name is Beatriz Olmedillo. I am originally from Maracaibo, Venezuela but moved to Houston, Texas 7 years ago with my husband for my job as an engineer in a large engineering company where I currently work. I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter and a newborn (2 months old). As a new mom my life is changing and I am in the search of redefining the purpose of my life, rediscovering and prioritizing things. Follow my journey.