The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

To the Coach Who Benched Me, Thanks For Teaching Me About Life

3 Minute Read

By Celeste Yvonne

Girl sitting on sports bench — A.Penkov/Shutterstock.com

Dear Coach,

In high school, I hated you. My parents hated you, too—especially my dad. You and he had a few very tense conversations after you kept me seated on the bench for yet another volleyball game.

Those games broke my heart. All I wanted was time to play. I worked so hard and volleyball was my passion.

RELATED: Youth Sports Parents: Instead of Raising Star Athletes, Let’s Raise Team Players

I sat on that bench feeling inadequate and incompetent. I tried to cheer and clap for my team, even as the sweat-soaked tears stung my eyes. Wondering if this next game would be my turn. Maybe this would be the moment. Over and over again until the ref whistled the end of the game.

But you didn’t put me in. There were better players on the team, and you and I both knew it.

Your job wasn’t to make every girl on the team feel good about herself. Your job was to coach a great, competitive, and elite team. And our team was really good.

I sat on that bench my freshman year, then again my sophomore year.

RELATED: Dear Youth Sports Parents: The Only Words Your Child Needs to Hear From You Are, “I Love Watching You Play”

Finally—finally—I had an epiphany. What if volleyball wasn’t the right sport for me? What if my dream of a college scholarship wasn’t in the cards?

Junior year, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life and decided not to try out for the team. Four years of hard work down the drain. I cried about it. I groaned and griped and felt so sorry for myself—as only a 16-year-old can do.

But eventually, I dusted myself back off. I picked myself back up. I found a new dream.

Dear Coach, thank you for not putting me in.

Thank you for keeping me as the lead bench warmer game after game. It helped me realize this was not the sport for me. It helped me find a new dream and reach for new heights . . . somewhere else. Somewhere destined for me.

You could have put me in to make me happy. You could have put me in to make my parents happy. But you taught me an important lesson about growing up. We don’t get playing time just for showing up.

We aren’t owed anything just for being present.

That’s not how the world works. That’s now how growing up works. Not school, not relationships, not work, and absolutely not competitive sports.

RELATED: Sometimes the MVP Never Makes it Off the Bench

I’ve come across so many hurdles and so many rejections since high school. I like to think my volleyball experience better prepared me for them. Because you didn’t put me in, I had to find a new dream. And it hurt at first, and it was hard. But I did.

And I’m better off for it.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Celeste Yvonne

About Celeste Yvonne: Celeste is a popular blogger and personality who writes about all things parenting. Celeste openly speaks about her struggles with alcohol, and two years ago she announced her commitment to becoming a sober mom for the sake of her health and her family. Her piece about a playdate that went sideways when another mom started serving mimosas has reached over 14 million people. Celeste lives in Reno, Nevada with her husband and two boys ages 3 and 5. Follow Celeste at http://www.facebook.com/theultimatemomchallenge, http://www.instagram.com/andwhatamom or http://www.andwhatamom.com.

To Those Who Dreamed of Something Different on Mother’s Day

In: Living

Mother’s Day is one of the hardest days of the year for me. The truth is, I always wanted to be a mom. I’m not a mother. Not in the traditional sense. And while I usually stay quiet on days like this, today I want to speak for the ones who carry this ache quietly…without cards, without flowers, without answers. In college, I was the girl with pillows under her shirt, daydreaming about baby names and planning a future I never got to hold. I once bought a house and made a nursery for children who never came. I remember...

Keep Reading

In Your 30s the Stakes Feel Higher

In: Living

I’m in the years where I’m not old, but I’m no longer young. Some women my age are just announcing their first pregnancies, while others like me are navigating pre-teen and teenage years. The 30s hold a different kind of tension. The days move faster now. Not because little feet are toddling through the house, but because the calendar is always full. Afternoons are spent running kids to practices, sitting in parking lots, and juggling dinner between drop-offs and pick-ups. The conversations are deeper. The questions are bigger. The stakes feel higher. This season isn’t about sticky fingers and sleepless...

Keep Reading

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off—Give Yourself Permission To Take One

In: Living

I didn’t need a sick day. I needed a well day—and I didn’t realize how much until I finally took one. We’ve labeled our time off into neat, acceptable categories. Sick days are for fevers and doctor appointments. Personal days are reserved for emergencies and obligations. But what about the in-between days? When there’s no real diagnosable health issue and no major event or appointment that needs attendance. The days when there’s nothing technically wrong, but everything feels off. A day when you’re barely hanging on, but still showing up. That’s where the well day comes in. On behalf of...

Keep Reading

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

In: Living, Motherhood

It took me 39 years to like myself. I mean really, honestly look in the mirror and say, “You go, girl.” I understand the concept of progress, not perfection, but the idea of always working on myself became a tiring and unrelenting objective. Here I was shrinking that waist, smoothing my skin, studying hard, working way too late, and often burning the candle at both ends to yield results that were still less than the ideal. It’s all well and good to be a doer who sets reasonable and sometimes unreasonable goals, but throughout my teens and into my early...

Keep Reading

8 Truths for the Graduate Still Figuring It Out

In: Living

Teen girl sitting on grass looking at fountain

Dear Graduate, I know you’re feeling it all right now. Anticipation, trepidation, and then other times, you don’t know what to feel at all. I know because I once felt the same. I graduated from high school several years ago, and here’s what I want you to know: It’s okay if you don’t have it all figured out. Sounds cliché, but it’s true. Whether you plan to attend college, take a gap year, get a job, or you don’t know yet what you want to do, it’s okay. Don’t compare yourself to anyone else. It’s so easy to fall into the...

Keep Reading

It’s Never Too Late To Start Again

In: Living

From a young age, I knew what I wanted my future career to look like. I pursued a path in healthcare, determined to use my gift for compassion to help others. I loved it. Being a small part of someone’s life during vulnerable moments made me feel like I was truly living out God’s calling on my life. Until I had children of my own. The work I did was exhausting—physically, mentally, and emotionally. What I didn’t anticipate was how that exhaustion would grow once I had children waiting for me at the end of each day. I was giving...

Keep Reading

From a Mom Failed By the Medical System: Your Experience Matters

In: Living

I was pregnant with my first baby in 2023, and my pregnancy was “picture perfect,” or so I was told. I went to all of my appointments, and every time I was reassured that everything looked great. My weight gain was “normal,” my baby was measuring appropriately, and his heartbeat was strong. My blood pressure was always a little elevated, but no one seemed concerned. Everything was fine…until it wasn’t. Looking back, I knew deep down something wasn’t right when I gained 10 pounds between my May and June appointments. I brushed it off, blaming a recent trip to Texas...

Keep Reading

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

In: Friendship

Ever since Ashley Tisdale wrote about leaving her toxic mom group, I have noticed something shift among women my age, moms in our 40s who built friendships through school drop-offs, soccer sidelines, neighborhood walks, and birthday parties. Here is the thing….no one wants to be labeled the “mean girls mom group.” Recently, I was out to dinner with a friend when she shared something that stuck with me. A woman had quietly left their local moms’ group and later treated them as if they were exclusionary. The final straw? She had sent a group text at dinnertime and no one...

Keep Reading

I’m Going to Tell You the Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

In: Living, Motherhood

During my oldest daughter’s freshman year of college, I started being haunted by a recurring dream of an old-fashioned suitcase—one of those hard-sided ones that’s as big as they come. In the dream, when I open the suitcase, it’s overflowing with clothing, shoes, and all kinds of stuff that belongs to me and each of my three daughters. Everything in the suitcase is all jumbled together. Nobody else in the dream is worried about sorting through everything, but I am totally stressed about it. To top it all off, I have to deal with this suitcase while preparing for a...

Keep Reading

Your Worth Is Not Someone Else’s To Measure

In: Faith, Living

Insecurity is something we all carry in one form or another. For me, it has probably always looked confident and outgoing from the outside. But internally, it can feel heavy, complicated, and exhausting at times. And when someone comes along whose behavior reinforces those insecurities, it amplifies what was already there. There was someone I had hoped to genuinely connect with, but it was clear from the start that the feeling wasn’t mutual. From the beginning, their wall was up. No matter how kind I tried to be or how carefully I showed up, it never came down. Their distance...

Keep Reading

Family Dinners Remind Me We Still Have So Much To Be Thankful For

Motherhood

Family Dinners Remind Me We Still Have So Much To Be Thankful For

The Smell of Lime To An Alcoholic's Daughter

Living

To the Coach Who Benched Me, Thanks For Teaching Me About Life

RELATED: Youth Sports Parents: Instead of Raising Star Athletes, Let’s Raise Team Players

But you didn’t put me in. There were better players on the team, and you and I both knew it.

RELATED: Dear Youth Sports Parents: The Only Words Your Child Needs to Hear From You Are, “I Love Watching You Play”

Dear Coach, thank you for not putting me in.

We aren’t owed anything just for being present.

RELATED: Sometimes the MVP Never Makes it Off the Bench

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Celeste Yvonne

To Those Who Dreamed of Something Different on Mother’s Day

In Your 30s the Stakes Feel Higher

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off—Give Yourself Permission To Take One

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

8 Truths for the Graduate Still Figuring It Out

It’s Never Too Late To Start Again

From a Mom Failed By the Medical System: Your Experience Matters

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

I’m Going to Tell You the Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

Your Worth Is Not Someone Else’s To Measure

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

To the Coach Who Benched Me, Thanks For Teaching Me About Life

But you didn’t put me in. There were better players on the team, and you and I both knew it.

Dear Coach, thank you for not putting me in.

We aren’t owed anything just for being present.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

To Those Who Dreamed of Something Different on Mother’s Day

In Your 30s the Stakes Feel Higher

Sometimes You Just Need a Day Off—Give Yourself Permission To Take One

I’m Learning To Feel Like I Belong In a Room Because I Want Her To Know She Always Does

8 Truths for the Graduate Still Figuring It Out

It’s Never Too Late To Start Again

From a Mom Failed By the Medical System: Your Experience Matters

Maybe that “Mean Mom” Is Just Busy

I’m Going to Tell You the Things Your Mom Should Have Told You

Your Worth Is Not Someone Else’s To Measure

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like