I’m just going to love them through it.
I decided this, today. Actually, I have always known this, but today, today I really told myself that. ALL. DAY. LONG.
I see the parenting articles. You know, the ones that tell you how you should be doing it. Frequently I browse other blogs where well intended advice (usually) is delved out by other parents. I appreciate it because it makes me think of things a little different, it gives me a new perspective. It also helps me connect with other mothers and fathers, who are sitting right beside me on this invisible parenting bus—the one headed to “I am trying not to raise a complete butt-hole” Land.
(I believe it really does exist).
But then today happened.
It was a horrendous day in our house. Yep, I used the word “horrendous” because it’s the best I can describe it. From the moment our youngest woke up, the day was met with tears, screams, and countless visits to time out. By the time my husband called around 4:00PM to tell me he was going to be home late tonight, I was in tears. So, I took a deep breath and thought about all that had happened today. From my 3-year-old screaming “PISS” in the doctor’s office waiting room (yep folks, you read that right). To vacuuming bean bag stuffing out of the mulch in our front yard (yep folks, you read that one right too). It wasn’t how I intended the day to go, it’s just how it happened.
Then I made a decision that changed the entire evening.
We don’t have to end the day how it started, or how it continued. Because all day, despite the craziness – I loved them through it, through every single bit of it. And I realized something—I always will. It doesn’t mean that I didn’t want to crawl into a hole and hand my parenting card over the second my 3-year-old dropped a word that should never come out of his sweet, angelic mouth. It doesn’t mean I didn’t think about booking a one way ticket to anywhere when our 18-month-old had explosive diarrhea…in the car…all over his car seat…on the way home. Because honestly, I did. I planned on high tailing it out the second my husband got home. I was going to tell him I have been “holding it” all day and I really needed to go (for some reason he never questions it when I phrase it that way). Then I would sneak into the bathroom, secretively look on my phone for other signs of life, while downing a glass of Target’s new $5.00 wine.
Then I realized that wasn’t going to happen.
So, I did the next best thing, really the first best thing. I made it a point to end the day good, nope not good, AWESOME! Because I can. Because I am Mom. Because if I don’t teach my kids to end it on a high note, who will? Then I looked at both of them and asked, “Who wants to play superheroes?” And 3 seconds later I was The Flash, hanging out with Batman and Captain America. Everyone ate their spaghetti and lights were out by 7:30PM.
I loved them through it. I am always going to love them through it. I am not naive to the fact that today’s mishaps pail in comparison to the roads ahead in this journey we call parenting. There will be many, many more moments that I want to bury my head in the sand, or scream, “WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?!” I just need to keep reminding myself to hold it together. I need to remember there are two little men I am raising, that I am guiding. With God, and my husband beside me I pray they are one (actually two) of the “nice guys.” So, I want to teach them to end it on the high note, to stick with the hard days, to keep loving through it.
Because I can. Because I am Mom.