I thought I’d look forward to the day when I could;

Actually sit and finish a full cup of coffee while it was still piping HOT, not in semi-sips over a 24-hour period

Reach into my pocketbook for one of my essentials and not have it come out stuck to a family of gummy bears

Shower with the door wide open and step out naked as a jay bird without worrying about being ambushed by little Ninja Turtles

Close both eyes at the same time and not have to sleep with one eye open and both my listening ears on red alert

Lay out no one else’s clothing but my own, or for that matter, stay in my birthday suit all day long and lay out nothing

Stop spoon feeding macaroni & cheese like it was an airplane on a runway ready for takeoff

Forget about cajoling friends, neighbors and perfect strangers into donating to the volleyball booster club for a team that went 0-14

Eat a meal at the dinner table and not find broccoli and asparagus florets underneath everyone’s chairs and dangling from the dog’s mouth

Do a load of laundry IF I felt like it and not because school clothes and sports uniforms blocked the entrance to our basement

Forego the lies about Bubba the goldfish #’s 1-15 who floated to the top of the bowl, got flushed down another bowl and were miraculously reincarnated before the bus dropped you back home

Hang a masterpiece above the living room sofa that was not designed with Crayola crayons, gold stars and glitter

Let the bogey man frolic freely whether in the closet or under the bed or wherever he felt comfortable spending the evening

Relegate ‘Good Night Moon’ to the Free Library and take out a juicy and lascivious Romance Novel

Win at Monopoly and hoard all the hotels, not having to pretend that when I landed on Boardwalk it did not interest me in the least

Watch a T.V. show, any show without having to answer questions like “Will my gina get married?”

Brush my teeth without a timer present or teach gargling which is really drooling with pleasant flavors

Lean over privately and tell the mall Santa Claus “thank you” for screwing up every Christmas by making my kids cry

Sit on the couch and snuggle with your father before being summoned to your room because your thumb tastes funny

Leave the fake smiles behind for coaches that kept you on the sidelines for an entire season other than the 2 minutes of court time you were granted when the score was so lopsided it did not matter

Talk to a girlfriend uninterrupted until HER child not mine said she smelled doody on her doll

I thought I’d look forward to the day when I could do all these things and more

Then with little or no warning that I can recall that day arrived

And there has not been one second since that moment where I would not trade in every steaming cup of hot coffee for just one more chance to read “Good-Night Moon”