Today I want to talk about a topic that keeps coming up. It’s all about why it’s us women who are killing modern romance. Incase you don’t know me, I’m all for empowering women and becoming comfortable with our Lady Boss selves, but it still amazes me that the notion of ‘romance’ seems to throw us all into a spin. 

So let’s get real. 

For a lot of us (me included) we have fallen in love with the idea of romance. For each of us it looks a little different, it might include flowers delivered to work, coming home to a candlelit dinner and a foot massage or being swept off for an expensive dinner at a fancy restaurant. And where does this idea of romance come from? 

Watch any ‘romantic’ movie (like The Notebook – kissing in the rain, seriously who does that? You’ll get a cold…) or episode of The Bachelor and you’ll soon be running a comparison of what these men are doing vs what the significant man in your life is doing. And I bet I know who comes off best. 

What we tend to forget is that these ‘dates’ and lives are scripted. Do you think The Bachelor himself came up with the idea to go on a helicopter ride to a private island for a perfectly packed picnic lunch and champagne? Uh… no. 

So why are we comparing these dates to the ones we have?

By constantly comparing these elaborate, scripted and definitely not romantic (how could they be with a camera crew right there?) dates we are putting our blinkers on to the true romance that is already present in our lives. The Modern Romance. 

Okay, okay, some guys can barely muster up a grunt when you ask them to go out for dinner with you but maybe they are the exception and are a lost cause (who knows…). What I’m talking about is the average guy you married, the one who you’ve become so comfortable with you might start overlooking the little things he does to make your day a bit easier or brighter. The real romance. 

Did your hubby get up to feed the baby last night so you could get just a few more hours sleep? That’s Modern Romance. 

Did he change the oil in your car or check the tire pressure before you went away to make sure you were safe? 

That’s Modern Romance. 

Did he go shopping with you even though he hates going shopping but knew you liked having him there?

That’s Modern Romance. 

Did he jump into bed 10 minutes before you to warm up your side of the bed so it wasn’t cold when you got in?

That’s Modern Romance. 

Did he pick up your favorite take away on the way home from work because he knew you were too exhausted to cook?

That’s Modern Romance. 

Did he take the kids to the park so you could finally have enough alone time to have a shower and paint your toenails?

That’s Modern Romance. 

And before you start commenting saying ‘but they should be doing these things anyway’ I have two things for you to contemplate. 

Firstly, when was the last time you acknowledged that he had done any of this? We often talk about how we feel unappreciated for everything we do and that we don’t get thanked for it. But when was the last time we thanked our other halves? This isn’t about being in battle to see who gives in first. It’s about being in it all together and showing gratitude. 

Secondly, if we don’t show appreciation for what is already done, how can we ask for more? Think about how you would feel if you weren’t appreciated for what you did then kept being asked for more – being told it wasn’t good enough. 

Like I said at the start – I am all for female empowerment and this isn’t about feminism or submission. 

It’s about getting real with what modern romance means, letting go of the Hollywood notion and showing gratitude to our significant others. And if you want a bunch of flowers delivered to you at work – order them yourself and on the card be sure to remind yourself of how much of an amazing Lady Boss you are. 

Krystal Kleidon

My name is Krystal and I am a first time mum. I'm a wife, a daughter, a sister and a friend (sometimes neglectful) and a paramedic. I live in a small country town in Queensland Australia and am the first Australian contributor to Her View From Home – something I am very proud and excited about. I love my Australian culture and lifestyle and you’ll have to promise to cut me a little slack when you see me writing things like ‘mum’ instead of ‘mom’. I'm the creator and editor at Project Hot Mess, a site dedicated to empowering women and encouraging them to embrace who they are in their own perfect way. Even if that means running late with a cold cup of coffee in hand and not brushing your hair for 3 days (that's what dry shampoo is for right..?).