I was walking to the car, my hands filled with the usual too much. My 20-month-old in one hand, three winter coats in the other, and the diaper bag on my back—and I started to lose my grip on the winter coats.⁣

“Mommy, do you need my help?” my 4-year-old asked.⁣ I was completely taken aback. No one ever asks me that question.⁣

“I’m OK, baby, but thanks so much.” I buckled the baby in her car seat and dropped the coats in the backseat catching my breath.⁣

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But of course, I didn’t take the help . . . because, of course, I NEVER DO. Because I’m a mommy.⁣

Which got me thinking . . . ⁣

People don’t ask mommy for help because she’s mommy and she’s got it all handled, but she never excepts it anyway.⁣

But most of the time, mommy has way too much in her hands.⁣

How do we solve this problem?⁣

Don’t ask a mom if she needs help and wait for her to decline politely—

Out of guilt.⁣

Afraid of judgment.

Because she’s supposed to have it all handled.⁣

Instead, just do it.⁣

If there’s a mom in the store whose toddler keeps running away while she’s trying to pay, go help her.⁣

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If there are dishes in the sink, clean them for her.⁣

If there’s dirt on the floor, sweep it up.⁣

If there’s a mom behind you in the grocery store and her kids start to get antsy, let her cut in front of you.⁣

When it comes to moms, don’t ask—do.

Originally published on the author’s Facebook page

Dani Sherman-Lazar

Dani Sherman-Lazar is an eating disorder advocate, Vice President of a transportation company, and a mother to three daughters. Follow her on her blog Living a Full Life After ED and like it on Facebook. Her book Living Full: Winning My Battle with Eating Disorders is available on Amazon.