Today was a hard day.

You were completely attached to me.
You woke up in the morning angry.
You didn’t want anybody but mommy.

“Want my mommy” was said more times than I could count today.
You were attached to my leg, pushing and shoving and prodding.
You were attached to my hand, pulling it where you wanted me to go.
You were stuck on my lap. Not wanting me to get up or move.

By the end of the day, I was done. I had enough.

But as I closed your bedroom door and let the day between you and me end, I felt a whisper over my heart.

“It’s not going to be like this for long.
This is the most he will ever need his mama.”

Soon, everything’s going to change.
I’m going to tearfully watch your little hand release mine as you walk into a kindergarten classroom with an oversized backpack on your little body.

I’m going to observe as you work to make friends and watch others crush your heart.

I’m going to see you excel and fail at your favorite things.

I’m going to stand back as you navigate life’s ups and downs.

I’m going to let go.

So for now, I’ll hold on.

I’ll hold onto the hard days, the days you need me from sun up to sun down.

Because soon enough, I’m going to have to start letting you go, little by little.

So today, I’m not going to forget.
I won’t forget to hold on.

This post originally appeared on Messy Footprints

 

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Kaleigh Christensen

Kaleigh is a stay at home mom, wife, and former Kindergarten teacher. In her spare time she loves to write about the things that matter. She shares real and honest vulnerability about the ups and downs of motherhood, marriage, infertility, miscarriage, and just plain life. She loves to inspire others to find the beauty mixed in with the mess of life. To read more of her writings, like her Facebook page, Messy Footprints, @MessyFootprints