Free shipping on all orders over $75🎄

I have a confession: I hate getting down on the floor to play with my kids. I don’t like to build with Legos, wrestle with sofa pillows, or drive Hotwheels cars around imaginary race tracks. You won’t find me down on all-fours piggybacking my toddler around the living room, either. I’m just not that mom.

There’s a school of thought that if you don’t do things like this, you can’t possibly be a good mother. Good mothers do these things whether they enjoy them or not, they say. Mothers are whatever their kids need them to be—they are everything. Right?

Well, I may be in the minority here, but I think that’s just crazy talk. Mothers can’t be everything. Myself and many other women I know are perfect examples of amazing mothers who aren’t everything—far from it, in fact. It’s not that I refuse to get down on the floor and play with my kiddos, I’ve done it a million times before, it’s just not one of my strong suits. I don’t shine in the fort-building department, but I’m still an awesome mom.

Children get what they need from those around them, not just from one person. Diversity is a good thing; it gives us character. One person can’t be everything. Kids get some of what they need from their parents, maybe a little from their siblings, some from a teacher, their grandparents, friends, cousins, the guy at the gas station, the lady at church, the cast of Paw Patrol—you get the point. It’s truly a colorful quilt, and everyone’s looks a little different. Mothers can’t be the whole quilt, it’s just not possible.

Being a good mother sometimes means giving your kids your best you. Let me tell you what’s not my best me: the me who fakes enjoyment while I build castles out of Mega Blocks. So, my kids get the castle-building piece of their quilts from someone else. They know I don’t like to play on the floor, but they don’t hold it against me, because there are a million other things that I love to do with them—and I’m actually good at.

For example, my kids know if they want to whip-up a batch of cookies for absolutely no reason, I’m their girl. I never say no to fresh baked cookies. I’m the mom who will read book, after book, and still make the same silly voices the third time through. I’m the mom who will take you shopping for school supplies, and give you all the time you need to select the perfect backpack. I don’t like to be rushed through important decisions, either. I’m the mom who will talk you down from the ledge when you think the world is crumbling around you. I’ll dust you off, give you the best hug you’ve ever had and a pep-talk to match. I’ll help you navigate your emotions, and talk to you about all the things that would make your daddy blush. I’m that mom.

There are mothers out there who must make more of the quilt on their own, and they likely wear many hats to get the job done. That’s OK, too. But if you’re this mom, please go easy on yourself. It’s OK to be awesome in one area and lackluster in another. You can hate reading bedtime stories, and still make the most amazing birthday cake ever. Kids don’t expect perfection; they just want you.

My kids love me for who I am, they’re not worried about what I’m not. Their daddy loves to wrestle, and build blanket forts. He’s the noble stead who carries them on his back across the living room turned Wild West, but he sucks at making cookies. That’s my piece of the quilt.

We are what our children need, but we can’t be all of it. Our kids will make beautiful quilts one day, and we, as their mothers, will be the seams and stitches that hold the whole thing together, even if we aren’t every single square.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Jorrie Varney

Jorrie is a registered nurse and mother of two. She writes about the reality and insanity of motherhood on her blog Jorrie loves to laugh and snuggle her babies as often as she can. You can follow her on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram.

Stop Putting an Expiration Date on Making Memories

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and son in small train ride

We get 12 times to play Santa (if we’re lucky). This phrase stopped my scroll on a Sunday evening. I had an idea of the direction this post was going but I continued on reading. 12 spring breaks 12 easter baskets 20 tooth fairy visits 13 first days of school 1 first date 1-2 proms 1-2 times of seeing them in their graduation cap and gown 18 summers under the same roof And so on and so on. It was essentially another post listing the number of all the monumental moments that we, Lord willing, will get to experience with our...

Keep Reading

When Your Kids Ask, “Where Is God?”

In: Faith, Kids
Child looking at sunset

How do I know if the voice I’m hearing is God’s voice? When I was in high school, I found myself asking this question. My dad was a pastor, and I was feeling called to ministry. I didn’t know if I was just hearing my dad’s wish or the call of God. I was worried I was confusing the two. It turns out, I did know. I knew because I was raised to recognize the presence of God all around me. Once I knew what God’s presence felt like, I also knew what God’s voice sounded like. There is a...

Keep Reading

Go Easy On the Parents Who Refuse to Skip Naps

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two little boys and their sister walking down a gravel road, color photo

Greetings from a mom who is done with napping children. It’s great to have the flexibility during the day for longer activities, meeting friends for playdates, or day trips to faraway places. It’s a new life . . . the life without naps. The freedom to make plans and keep them. But not that long ago, I was something very different than the flexible, plan-keeping, up-for-it woman I am today. I used to be the mom who refused to skip my child’s nap. Yep, that one. Here’s the thing, for a lot of parents, It’s so much more than just a...

Keep Reading

My Heart Isn’t Ready for You to Stop Believing in Santa

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy standing in front of lit christmas tree

“My friend doesn’t believe in Santa anymore, Mom,” my son said out of the blue the other day. We were driving in the car, and when I met his gaze in the rear-view mirror his eyes searched mine. Immediately, my heart sank.  This sweet boy, he’s our first. Thoughtful and smart and eight years old. A quick Google search tells me that’s the average age kids stop believing in Santa, but as his mom, I’m not ready for that—not even a little bit.  I can still hear his barely 2-year-old voice going on about reindeer as we lay together on...

Keep Reading

Motherhood is a Million Little Letting Gos and Fresh Hellos

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother sitting with child on her lap by the setting sun and water

I missed my grocery-shopping buddy the other day. Mondays are usually the days my littlest and I knock out our grocery list. In the past, we’ve dropped the kids at school and then headed to the store. I grab a latte, and she chooses a hot chocolate. But that day, they were all in school. That day, she sat in her kindergarten class, and I went to the grocery store. Alone. A new rhythm. A changed routine. A different season. I listened to a podcast on the drive. My podcast. Then I grabbed a drink. Just one. I got the...

Keep Reading

Dear Kids, This Is My Wish for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother hugs three kids

To my kids, The world you’re stepping into is unlike anything I experienced at your age. It’s fast-paced, interconnected, and sometimes overwhelming. But within this chaos lie countless opportunities for growth and joy. My wish for you is that you find the perfect balance between embracing the modern world and staying true to yourselves. Change is one thing you can always count on. Embrace it because it’s often the motivation for growth. Embracing change doesn’t mean letting go of who you are; rather, it’s about evolving into the best version of yourself. Remember, you don’t need to have all the...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, Stay Wild

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter on beach, color photo

I can’t really put my finger on it. Or manage to find all the words. But there’s just something about that girl. Maybe it’s the way her hair sits tangled. Curled up at the end. The way she moves. Dances. As if everyone was watching. Or no one at all. RELATED: There is Wild Beauty in This Spirited Child of Mine It could be the way she smiles. With her heart. The way only she can. The way she cares, loves. For everyone. For herself. You see, she is beautiful in the way only wild things are. The way they...

Keep Reading

You’re Becoming a Big Sister, But You’ll Always Be My Baby

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Pregnant woman with young daughter, color photo

The anticipation of welcoming a new baby into the world is an exciting and joyous time for our family. From the moment we found out we were expecting to just about every day since, the love and excitement only continue to grow. However, amidst all the preparations for the new addition, I cannot help but have mixed emotions as I look back at old videos and pictures of my firstborn, my first princess, my Phoebe—for she will always hold a special place in my heart. As the anticipation grows, my heart swells with a mix of emotions knowing we are...

Keep Reading

Cowgirls Don’t Cry Unless the Horse They Loved Is Gone

In: Grief, Kids, Loss
Little girls Toy Story Jessie costume, color photo

The knee of my pants is wet and dirty. My yellow ring lays by the sink—it’s been my favorite ring for months. I bought it to match Bigfoot’s halter and the sunflowers by his pasture. Bigfoot is my daughter’s pony, and I loved him the most. The afternoon is so sunny. His hooves make the same calming rhythm I’ve come to love as I walk him out back. A strong wind blows through the barn. A stall labeled “Bigfoot,” adorned with a sunflower, hangs open and I feel sick. I kneel down by his side as he munches the grass....

Keep Reading

Let Them Wear the Costumes Whenever They Want

In: Kids
Kids in costumes walking around living room

I have five children. My oldest is 18, and my youngest is 8. Over the years, I have bought quite a few Halloween costumes. It always starts in late summer—the kids start getting excited about dressing up and want to start looking online for costumes because they want to make sure they’re delivered on time. As the kids have gotten older, a couple of them have even planned out costumes a few years in advance. It’s always fun watching their excitement, and it’s always fun “sharing” the candy with them. One of the things I’ve always done is allow them...

Keep Reading