By Cat Borg 
My girls danced all night. They were smiling, they were having a ball!
“Aren’t your girls lovely!?” people said to us at the party. “They’re having so much fun!”
My husband and I smiled back, and we agreed. It really was beautiful to watch.
And yes, our girls are lovely. They were definitely having fun. People saw an accurate depiction of how they can be: friendly, laughing, smiling, just enjoying themselves.
What these people didn’t see was what happened once we got home. In fact, the minute we got out of the taxi.
They didn’t see tears, and they didn’t hear screams. The over-tired and worn-out children with wails and shouts—they were just for our benefit. The arguments amongst each other and the whines about putting on their pajamas—they were for our ears only.
I’m sure it’s the same with most children—what people see on the outside is the version they present to the world. The best version. The polite and smiling version.
What we see as parents is their authentic selves, and while we do sometimes see what the world sees, while we do enjoy their company and delight in their best selves, we also see the real.
We’re there for every emotion. We’re the ones who witness the joys and the sorrows, the highs and the lows. We see whatever they’re feeling and we feel it with them.
And what a privilege it is to be that person.
As their mother, I’m there for it all. They don’t always allow everyone into that world, where they feel most secure, where they’re most at ease, and can be real.
But I’m allowed in.
I’m there for the tired, the frustrated, the embarrassed, and the giddy children. I see the fear, the excitement, the overwhelm, and the anger.
I can comfort and I can hold them. I can hear their worries and reassure.
And I’m so grateful every day that I get to see it.
Is it exhausting at times? Of course it is! Do I sometimes lock myself in the bathroom when the three of them synchronize their outbursts because I just need five minutes? Absolutely!
Our house is loud and it’s messy. We’re all learning and failing and starting again.
But these three humans are my absolute world. The fact that I’m their safe place is an honor I don’t take lightly.
Most people at the party won’t see that side of my children. Their smiles were genuine, and they were enjoying themselves; it’s not as if that was fake. But I know it’s only a part of who they are.
When people told me they thought my girls were lovely, I agreed. They are lovely!
They’re also loud, stubborn, honest, tired, helpful, creative, strong, funny, and hard-working, and they get worn out and lash out, just like we all do.
They’re 100 percent authentic and learning how to deal with all things human. It’s a big deal!
I see it. I see it all. Most importantly, I see them. And I love them, for exactly who they are.
I see my beautiful girls growing up and trying their best every day, with whatever emotions come along with it, whether it’s crying from sheer exhaustion or spinning around a dance floor.
What a lovely thing to witness.
by Stephanie Hanrahan 
by Susannah B. Lewis 
by Jennifer Thompson 
