I Let My Husband Hold Our Babies First
All of my children were born via Cesarean section. I am eternally grateful that my husband was there with me, holding my hand through all of the…
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Tag
birth
Having a C-Section Wasn’t In My Plan
I never expected to be absent during my (possibly only) biological birth. And even if it isn’t my only birth experience, the loss will remain.…
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Why I Hid My Postpartum Anxiety
After a failed vasectomy reversal, a second successful reversal, two failed frozen embryo transfers and six (in total) IVF with ICSI procedures, and…
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I Went In For an Abortion—and Left With a Changed Life
After all these years, my dad still calls me his Butterfly. I was given the name as a young child after I’d mastered every lyric to the Sunday…
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I’m Allowed to be Disappointed in my Birth Story
Withstand initial contractions at home, then when it’s time, have my husband grab our bags and rush us to the hospital. Labor without an…
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To all My Fellow C-Section Mamas
What do I remember about that moment? I still ask myself, nearly five years later. I remember a deep sense of sadness. I remember a…
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Being a Mom Made Me Forgetful in the Best Way Possible
Before I was a mother, I remembered everything. Every moment. Every joy. Every transgression. I never forgot to RSVP for a party. I never let a due…
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Processing the Grief and Gratitude of the Final Baby
The spot where my IV was shoved into my vein has officially healed. The bruise on my back from the epidural that half-worked is no longer visible.…
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Dear Hope Wounds
Dear Hope Wounds, You are kind of ugly. It feels like you sag to my knees. You’ve taken away my belly button. You roll over every kind of jeans,…
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Avoiding Due Date Rage
When we learned the due date (May 27th) for the baby I am carrying, my husband looked at me and smiled. He said cheerfully “Let’s just plan on…
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