As an expecting mother, I was told all about the sleepless nights. People made sure to give their opinion on whether I should bottle feed, breastfeed, or exclusively pump. I was told which swaddle to buy, which sound machine worked best, and when to introduce a pacifier. They told me about sleep training but that it really didn’t matter because I wouldn’t get any sleep anyway.

Whenever I would mention how scared I was to give birth, I’d always get the same response: oh. honey, don’t worry, your body will know what to do.

I remember listening to calming meditations as preparation. All of them repeated a mantra about how your body is designed for this. I went to the birthing class and listened to the nurse tell us about how women used to give birth in fields by themselves. Our grandmothers gave birth in their homes with no medical interventions and boiling water. The message was very clearI was made for this.

RELATED: I’m Allowed to be Disappointed in my Birth Story

Fast forward to after 12 hours of labor and 2 hours of pushing, during which that all proved to be untrue. I wasn’t made for this. I could not deliver this baby in the way I was designed. It was heartbreaking. I felt like my body had failed.

When people found out I had an unplanned C-section, the responses were always different, but never quite helpful. Oh, thank goodness for modern medicine. Well you will still want to try for a VBAC next time, right? Oh, you took the easy way out! So lucky, I would have loved a C-section! Bless your heart! Oh, sweetie, none of that matters. The comments were never-ending.

Not long after, I had a sweet friend text me and say, “I am so sorry birth did not go the way you wanted to experience it. I’m here if you ever need to process through that.”

Finally. I felt so seen! She wasn’t trying to convince me of how to feel or even give her opinion at all. She just wanted me to know she was there and willing to sit through the feelings with me.

RELATED: Having a C-Section Wasn’t In My Plan

The truth is I have a healthy baby boy in my arms that I carried, grew, loved, and sustained for nine months. At almost a year postpartum, I am starting to see that my body did not fail me, but in those moments and months after, it really did feel like it did.

So for the mamas who feel like their bodies failed them during birth, I  see you. I am you. I’m not going to sit and try to convince you otherwise. Instead, I just want to pour you a cup of coffee or tea and sit with you in these feelings. We can sit through them together.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Whitney Britton

My name is Whitney Britton. I am a Tennessee girl, born and raised. I am a proud wife and boy mom. I love the Lord and enjoy being outside. My hobbies are writing, reading, hiking, working out, and watching TN football with my family. Follow me on Instagram and Substack

Dear C-Section Mom, You Are a Warrior

In: Baby, Motherhood

Dear fellow C-section mamas, I know. I get it. Sometimes when you think about the delivery of your child, you have all sorts of unwanted feelings fizzle up in your heart. Anxiety. Fear. Worry. Panic. And it’s frustrating that those are often the first thoughts that come to mind when you think of the birth of your beautiful child. Because it wasn’t supposed to be that way. Sometimes you feel your body failed you. In your heart of hearts, you know that if it weren’t for your C-section, you wouldn’t be here. You wouldn’t have made it. YOU WOULDN’T BE...

Keep Reading

Yes My C-Section Is Birth

In: Kids, Motherhood
Yes My C-Section Is Considered Birth www.herviewfromhome.com

I was doing my normal morning social media scrolling when I woke up today. Normally, I skip past the stuff that’s too political and the such, but this morning something caught my eye that literally made my blood boil. I mean red face, maybe a few veins popping out of my forehead mad. Pretty sure my kiddo saw me and compared me to the likes of the Hulk. This was the title that made me stop: “Birth Photographer Refuses To Document C-section Because Surgery Isn’t Birth.” Um, excuse me? What the heck! OK, maybe I’m a little biased because I...

Keep Reading

To the Mom With the Traumatic Birth Experience

In: Baby, Grief, Motherhood
Postpartum mother sleeping next to her newborn baby

In 2016, I gave birth to my son after a challenging and stressful pregnancy. From the first month of my pregnancy, I suffered from a complication called hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), a condition that causes severe, unrelenting nausea and vomiting. HG causes women to experience severe dehydration, malnutrition, and related conditions, nevermind a serious drop in quality of life. Until the development of intravenous hydration in the 1950s, HG was the leading cause of maternal death. Even today, it can lead to the deaths of unborn children and serious health impacts on mothers. When I was five months pregnant, I had...

Keep Reading