So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

What is a “best friend” really?

Is it some mythical idea of the perfect person we like to say we have in elementary or high school? Is it some prize we’ve won? Is it the best thing someone could everhave?

The answer to all of these questions is actually yes. But there’s a lot more to this story.

My best friend knows me as well as I know myself—sometimes better. She has a lot of other close friends and I have some as well. But if someone asked me right now who my “best friend” was, she’d definitely nail it. She’s been nailing it for almost three decades.

My best friend has dragged me out from the depths of despair when no one else was watching. My best friend held me all night when my heart exploded and my pride was shattered. My best friend cradled me in the midst of debilitating heartbreak.

My best friend has been a hell of a lot more than just a friend. She’s been a sister, a partner, a roommate, a mother figure and—at times—even an enemy.

She told me the truth when I didn’t like it. She yelled at me when I was stubborn. She told me I was being stupid when I thought I knew it all. She has fought for me, traveled for me, and considered me. Above all, she has never left my side.

After all of our adventures, escapades, and shenanigans—we endured. No matter how many miles came between us, we were connected.

They say that true love is eternal and I would argue that a true friendship can surpass all kinds of love.

Thousands of miles, love affairs, marriages, divorces, and babies separated us. Yet that bond was securely intact. It never wavered.

We were and are cemented in sisterhood.

Even now, months could go by and we’ll finally talk as if no time has passed between us. The catching up is a delight. The juicy stuff, the bad things we did, the inappropriate things we think. Husbands, boyfriends, crushes, fantasies. We talk about it all. There’s no judgment. There’s no shame. There’s just us. We talk, we laugh, we cajole. And then we hang up for who knows how long.

And that’s OK.

Time passing by is nothing but another element to our already seasoned friendship. The point is that as time is passing, we are always in each other’s thoughts, somewhere. The point is that at some point, we always reconnect. We are soulmates.

Without my dear friend, I wouldn’t have made it through all of my disasters, mistakes, or screw-ups as well as I did. There were so many times that I wouldn’t have known there was light at the end of the tunnel if she were not on the other end of the phone. She has either been by my side, on the other end of a phone or there with a text in the middle of my life crashing down around me at various points in my life.

A best friend doesn’t share your DNA, your family, or even agree with you in many circumstances. But a best friend is your blanket, your shield, and ultimately your mirror for the good, the bad, the beautiful, the ugly, and all of those complicated grey areas in between.

And so, to my sister in crime, my partner in giggles, my comrade in survival, I love you. You are truly what it means to be the best.

Dedicated to Marie and previously published at The Pondering Nook

Michelle Zunter

Michelle Zunter is a Canadian-turned-American living, loving, & writing in California. You can read Michelle's lifestyle blogs about love, sex, relationships, marriage, divorce, parenting, step-parenting & much more at The Pondering Nook. You can also listen to Michelle co-hosting at The Broad's Way Podcast discussing similar topics. More of Michelle's featured work can be found on The Huffington PostScary Mommy, Stepparent Magazine, Thought Catalog, Role Reboot, & The Natural Parent Magazine. ***Ponder/Provoke/Relate. You can also follow The Pondering Nook on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram & Pinterest

A Medical Diagnosis Challenges a Marriage

In: Cancer, Living, Marriage
Bald woman holding clippers over husband's head, color photo

It is no secret now that Albert Pujols and his wife have announced their divorce shortly after she had surgery to remove a brain tumor. As a breast cancer survivor, this news hit me in a special way. As I was reading through an article from Today, there was a quote that hit me hard, “But a marriage falling apart is far more common when the wife is the patient, researchers have found. A woman is six times more likely to be separated or divorced soon after a diagnosis of cancer or multiple sclerosis than if a man in the relationship is...

Keep Reading

You Are So Much More than the Doubts in Your Head

In: Living, Motherhood
Little girl looking out window, color photo

Keep pushing. Push through every doubt the enemy instills in your mind.  Push through the depression. Push through the worrisome moments. Push through that anxiety that won’t let you win.  You’ve got to keep going. Keep moving forward.  You are a great mother. You are a great wife. You are a great employee and an even better friend.  RELATED: Struggling With Mental Health Makes You a Bad Mom—And Other Lies I’ve Believed Don’t get stuck in the same spot that depression has led you and those thoughts that say you aren’t good enough or worthy enough.  You are.  God says...

Keep Reading

I Will Live For You

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother and child silhouette

“I would die for my child, ”a well-known, often said sacrificial statement. I didn’t really know how my fierce love for my child would manifest until the first time she was extremely upset, and I didn’t know why.  Readers, I would have cut off a finger to console my baby.  I would die to protect her.  Both are strong, love-filled sentiments. And both, God willing, are unnecessary.  But there’s a daunting task that is absolutely necessary. At times it needs to be a conscious decision. Sometimes it’ll require taking care of yourself so you can better care for your child....

Keep Reading

Don’t Write Off How Far You’ve Come

In: Living
Woman smiling

Tonight when the demons in my head want to take over, I’m reminding myself that I am amazing, and I have accomplished things I dreamt about for years. I graduated from college. I have a B.A. in psychology. Other people had that. Not me. But now I do. I’m getting my Master’s degree in social work. I am a published writer. Yes, my brain and other people are tearing me down and screaming at me that I can’t do anything right. But the evidence? The evidence is that I have survived 16 years of special needs parenting. And that is...

Keep Reading

Dear Girl, Give Jesus Your Mess

In: Faith, Living
Woman holding Bible, color photo

Oh, dear girl, Give Jesus the mess. Your mess. The mess you think is too much or too big or too unbearable. The depths of the mess. The very worst of the mess. Lay it at His feet. He knew you long before the mess existed. Nobody knows your mess like Jesus. I assure you—this will not catch Him by surprise. Even when you do not understand, even when it is most difficult, even when you have your head buried in your hands. Praise Him, for God wastes nothing.  Even when it feels like opposition is coming at you from...

Keep Reading

Friends Can Be a Sanctuary

In: Friendship, Grief
Group of friends hugging

A sanctuary is defined as anywhere people go for peaceful tranquility or introspection. My friends became my sanctuary when my husband, Frank, died. They became my refuge and my safe place. Friendship is one of the most wonderful gifts in this world. It is beautiful, comforting, ever-changing, and, for me, a fixed point.  My friends seemed to know exactly what I needed and when I needed it. Their love and constant support got me through the worst of times and gave me the courage and confidence I needed to move forward.  I could never give an adequate thank you to...

Keep Reading

Childhood Trauma Made Me Crave the Simple Life I’m Living Now

In: Living, Motherhood
Family walking down road

My own childhood was not a happy one.  My earliest memory was of blowing out a birthday candle (I was maybe three) and of my wish being that my parents would get a divorce, that my dad would disappear forever. The happiest days of my childhood were 72 hours spent in a shelter for battered women outside of DC with my mom and two younger brothers because for the first time in my 9-year-old life, I felt free from the many constraints of home life—short-lived as I knew this freedom would be, knowing he would always find a way back...

Keep Reading

I Don’t Dress “Like a Mom” and I’m Not Sorry

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother in tank top and shorts with three children, color photo

I’ve always had a rather unique style.  I’m not afraid to dress loudly and stand out.  I’ll be the only girl wearing heels in a stadium full of flats.  I’ll wear sequins and glitter in my 30s.  I’ll wear vintage, current trends, and things that have possibly never been fashionable. If I feel confident and comfortable in what I’m wearing, that’s really all I care about.  I’ve been complimented on my outfit choices plenty of times.  RELATED: I’ll Always Be Too Much For Some People I’ve also been negatively judged—many times I know about and probably more times when I’m blissfully...

Keep Reading

What If the Woman Who Seems to Have It All Actually Admires You?

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood

I’ve known her for a long time, and as long as I’ve known her, she’s always been beautiful. Beautiful on the inside and even more beautiful on the outside. Her makeup is perfectly done, her hair with not a strand out of place. And her clothes? Chic. She is well put together, always in vogue. While I have recycled the same clothes for the past five years, she is on point with the latest trends. She can even rock a pair of sweatpants. Her pictures on Facebook and Instagram posts confirm this as well. (She also has a successful career,...

Keep Reading

When Mother’s Day Feels Awkward, Find Comfort in Community

In: Grief, Living, Loss, Motherhood

Mother’s Day can be beautiful for some women. It can be hurt filled for others. Or in my case, it can just feel plain old awkward. I felt eight years of awkward Mother’s Days. In my late 20s to mid-30s, I felt like the woman no one knew what to say to or what to do with. I felt a double whammy on Mother’s Day. My mother was home in Heaven. My womb was empty and always would be. My desire to have a child was filled with an intentional choice to go a non-traditional route to motherhood and was...

Keep Reading