By Krystal Sieben 
By now, you’ve probably seen the posts flooding your feed: A young mom. Three little boys. A guitar strap embroidered with her children’s drawings. And a crown.
When Hannah Harper won American Idol this week, moms everywhere erupted. And honestly? Same. There is something collective about watching a stay-at-home mom win on such a large stage.
The celebrations have been pouring in. Moms, we can do it. She didn’t abandon her dreams. She went for it. And all of that is true, and all of that is worth celebrating.
But I want to add something to the celebration. Not to dim it, not even a little, but to make it more complete: Hannah Harper didn’t win alone.
Can we reflect on that for a second?
Here’s the thing: Her husband stopped working for the last 15 weeks to help her achieve this dream. Extended family members showed up too. That is what made Hannah Harper’s dream possible. Not just her talent, even though her talent is incredible. Not just her bravery to take a chance. It was the people who held the rest of her life together while she went and chased her moment.
So when we see a mom winning and feel that rush of I could do that, I want us to also ask: Do I HAVE that?
And for many of us, the answer is no.
Moms are super capable. We are talented and driven and full of things we want to say and create and build and share with the world. And so many of us have set those things down, not because we stopped wanting them, but because we looked around and realized there was no one to hand the rest of life to while we went and did them.
Support doesn’t look the same for everyone. Maybe it’s a partner who temporarily steps back from their career so you can step into yours. Maybe it’s a sister who picks up your kids from school. Maybe it’s a daycare you’ve trusted since your babies were tiny. Maybe it’s a grandma who shows up on a Tuesday with groceries ….Maybe it’s the financial breathing room to hire a nanny so that when you walk through the door at the end of the day, you’re a present parent instead of a depleted one.
It all counts. All of it is the village.
And I think the most important thing we can do to actually celebrate Hannah Harper’s win, besides celebrating her and supporting her music is to say honestly and without apologizing moms can’t do it alone. Wishing and hoping and working harder and grinding at 5 a.m. is not the answer. The actual answer includes someone who says, ” Your dream matters, and I will help you so you can go after it.”
And if you don’t have that support, be kind to yourself; you are on pause right now.
So let’s celebrate her wildly. Let’s let her win inspire every mom who has ever felt way too busy in the beautiful, exhausting work of raising tiny people to remember that she is still a person with dreams and talents and all the things.
But let’s also be each other’s village. Let’s normalize asking for support and giving it. Let’s push back against the culture that tells moms they can “do it all” and expects them to do it alone. Let’s not judge each other for wanting things.
Because maybe the next Hannah Harper is sitting on a couch right now, reheating her coffee for the third time, waiting for someone to tell her, I’ve got this. You go get your dreams.
Or maybe you’re a mom on a pause, and chasing your dreams comes later…and that’s okay too.
by Sara Shakil 
by Bonnie Ashby 
