You carried him for nine months and I’m sure you did your best to take care of him during that time. Others saw all the things you didn’t do and judged you for it. There will be no judgement from me. I know in my heart that you did your best from the moment you found you were pregnant with him.

When you left the hospital without him, I can’t imagine how hard that would have been for you. Empty hands and a heavy heart knowing someone else would be blessed to be able to raise him.

Months then years going by. First word, first steps, first birthday cake. All done without you. Not so much as a glimpse of what his life was like. Not knowing if the people who had him loved him even half as much as you did.

There was no way for you to know that I thought of you at every Mother’s Day, birthday and special event since the day we got him as a toddler. As he has grown we speak of you often, wondering what you might be doing and what traits he might have inherited from you. Maybe his giving nature, his athleticism, his humor  – all things that we cherish in him. There have been the difficult talks too. Telling him his birth story as we know it. Always reminding him we only know what we have been told. Encouraging him to suspend any judgement until one day he can ask you for himself.

On this Mother’s Day I want you to know that I am honored to share this marvelous young man with you. There is room in his heart for both of us. You created him and loved him first. You loved him so much you gave him a chance at a life you weren’t able to provide. You performed the ultimate sacrifice and I want you to know that I am aware of this. I am thankful for this. He might not be with you but he is eternally yours.

Tina Szymczak

Tina Szymczak is a wife and mother of two very spirited teenage boys. She is passionate about disability rights; inclusion; adoption and infertility. Also she blogs about her struggles with mental illness, namely Bi-Polar depression. She works as an early interventionist in Ontario Canada. Writing has always been a passion and she enjoys scrapbooking her family's adventures as well. You can find her musings at