My husband and I are in the same career field and made close to equal pay, so when I decided to stay at home to take care of our baby, our income was cut in half. I knew this would obviously affect us financially, but I did not expect how it would affect me emotionally. 

I no longer financially contribute to my family, and I feel so guilty. I did not think I would feel this way. I thought I would know the worth of being a stay-at-home mom. Unfortunately, there isn’t a pay scale that shows you how much you’re worth. You have to redefine your own worth, and boy, that can be hard. 

RELATED: Moms Work the Equivalent of 2.5 Jobs—No Wonder We’re All Tired

I’m home all day, yet when bedtime comes, I’m exhausted. I feel ashamed that I’m so tired. There are still dishes in the sink, laundry to fold, and another day went by without me vacuuming.

What exactly have I done today? 

I know I’ve done something. I’ve taken care of my kid. But, is that all I’ve really done today? Shamefully, I fall into society’s often unrelenting, unappreciative views of moms.

With some grace for myself, I reflect on the day. My daughter and I had a great day. We went to the park, and she laughed and laughed as I pushed her in the swing. We ate applesauce together and made a giant mess. We read books and played with blocks. We chased the dog around the house. We cuddled, and she napped in my arms. 

I have to acknowledge the value this brings to my family and remind myself that being here for my daughter is worth a lot. It cannot be equated to a paycheck. There is no magical equation that will show how much I would be getting paid if being a stay-at-home mom was a real job. 

Redefining my worth based on how I feel is not always easy, especially on days I feel like I didn’t do enough.

But, I have discovered that when feelings of inadequacy creep up in me there are a few things I can do. 

The first thing I do is stop and watch my daughter. I soak in her beautiful presence, which ultimately leads me to practice gratitude. I say out loud how thankful I am to spend time with her, to be able to love on her all day, and to watch her grow. 

RELATED: To the World I’m Just a Stay-at-Home Mom, But To You I’m Everything

I look around me and, usually, there is a mess, but I also see where play has happened. I choose to focus on the connection and presence I’ve been able to give my child. This usually makes my heart swell because I’m just so proud to be my baby’s momma, and I let that pride wash all those inadequate feelings away. 

I remember that this is a season.

A fleeting span of time in which the financial sacrifice, the messy house, and the microwaved dinners are all worth it. 

So, stay-at-home momma, if you are feeling less than your worth today, I encourage you to pause and reflect because you are worth an incredible amount. I would say you are priceless. 

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Chassey Foster

I am a freelance writer and momma to the best, spunkiest little girl. I'm learning to navigate motherhood by acknowledging and listening to my intuition, going for daily walks, and eating lots of cheese and dark chocolate. 

Sometimes I Want To Scream, “Does Anyone See Everything I Am Doing?!”

In: Motherhood
Tired mom on couch

Do you ever have one of those days as a mom when you just want to scream, “DOES ANYONE SEE EVERYTHING THAT I AM DOING?!  EVERY LITTLE THING?!” Sometimes it just feels like all of the things big and small go unnoticed and unappreciated. I want to hold up a long detailed account of everything I did and have someone acknowledge it. Have them go line by line and check off each one. Just have someone notice it ALL, and see how long the list is and how exhausting it all is. Some days little things are noticed, but if...

Keep Reading

What Do Stay At Home Moms Do All Day?

In: Kids, Motherhood

While usually we are being quaint and adorable like a live Norman Rockwell painting, there are a few other things that get us from WHYGODWHY in the morning to Netflix-O’clock at night. We clean things so they can be destroyed right exactly before you drop by. I don’t mean to brag, but my kids are capable of making my house a major health code violation in ten seconds flat. Sometimes I think about posting pictures of what my house looks like when it’s clean – just for reference. Welcome to my home. Here is a picture of what my house looked like one time last...

Keep Reading

To the World I’m Just a Stay-at-Home Mom, But To You I’m Everything

In: Motherhood
Mom with young son

Before I became a stay-at-home mom, I never noticed how often the question, “What kind of work do you do?” comes up. It’s a question I have come to dread because of the judgment that follows. Before I became a stay-at-home mom, I had what came off as a more impressive job—I was a software testing manager. When people heard this, I received all kinds of compliments such as how I must be smart, how complicated computers are, or I was asked questions about computer problems. When I’m asked what I do for a living now and answer that I...

Keep Reading