Does technology ever drive you mad? Make you want to chuck your laptop or phone across the room? Or is it just me who allows such trivial things to get under my aging skin?

This morning happens to be a crapstorm of techno schmecno tyranny in my little world. The iPad continues to think-spin into oblivion, Google is choosing to take a millennium to open on my laptop, and my iPhone—which is right next to me—doesn’t ring, yet sends me loud notifications about voicemails.

In 30 minutes flat, I’ve managed to make a Himalaya of irritation out of a mole hill of minor setbacks. Which included me shouting several ladylike barbs from the mountain top. The reverb in my living room only multiplies the negative mojo. Thank you, lady hormones and technology.

But isn’t it incredible how reliant we’ve become on such a convenience? Our expectations for speed, reliability, instantaneous results are outrageous when you think about all things electronic revolution. Right now is the new at some point.

How does this mindset translate into family life? Are we carrying over our insatiable need for immediacy into the way we parent and/or how we manage the household? How about at work or in our relationships with others?

What about the way we handle repeated red traffic lights or long shopping lines? How about endless hold times listening to Muzak during a phone call to “customer service”?

Don’t even get me started on buffering during video streaming or television delays in general. My hubby was literally shaming the TV remote the other night, “This stupid remote. It takes FOREVER to work. I have to push the buttons a hundred times to get the channel changed!”

Batteries.

That’s all the gizmo needed.

Goodness and patience forbid. But, oh how I love my man, a lack of patience notwithstanding.

How cool would it be to have a television with an on/off switch you have to press with your finger and a radial dial to change stations—all ten of them? Remember those? We even had to walk across the room uphill both ways to operate the thing and we survived.

The magic word in all of this is patience. Is it a thing anymore? Has instant everything, even beyond technology, stripped us down of all ability to simply be in the moment? You know, like live—without stressing out about time?

Do you think, perchance, we are projecting the biggest double standard in the history of the world? Think about this: we cry and moan to anyone who will listen about how fast time goes by, yet in the same breath we curse time for not moving fast enough.

My gosh . . . we are insane.

Where do our kids fall into this madness?

Kids love life. In general, they find contentment in some form regardless of what is going on around them. The simple things bring them joy and every environment piques their curiosity. Time doesn’t exist in their world. Having fun drives their spirit.

To prove this theory, my sister-in-law endured a nine-hour flight delay in an airport with five children under eight-years-old. By herself. Guess what? The kids had fun. Wait, what? Why weren’t they peeved at the world, the airline, the person next to them just because? Why weren’t they flustered and frazzled and miserable? Oh, that’s right. Because they’re kids! Life somehow still marches on with a kick of joyful karma in Kidville, even at a snail’s pace.

So, aren’t we corrupting their tiny nirvana when we impose our negative perception of time with the heaviness of our impatience and incessant griping about people  moving too slow (sometimes them in particular), “things” not working fast enough, circumstances taking forever?

Tough questions. I’ll be the first to say, guilty as charged. Some days better than others.

How do we flip the script?

Mindfulness of what matters most. Which includes daily reminders to our self that speed kills. Both the physical self in car crashes and the emotional self with impatience.

Let’s tarry on, friends. At whatever pace life throws our way. And become more like children once again.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Shelby Spear

A self-described sappy soul whisperer, sarcasm aficionado, and love enthusiast, Shelby is a mom of 3 Millennials writing about motherhood and life from her empty nest. She is the co-author of the book, How Are You Feeling, Momma? (You don't need to say, "I'm fine.") , and you can find her stories in print at Guideposts, around the web at sites like Her View From Home, For Every Mom, Parenting Teens & Tweens and on her blog shelbyspear.com.

You Have to Feel before You Can Heal

In: Living
Depressed woman in bed

“Nobody will protect you from your suffering. You can’t cry it away or eat it away or starve it away or walk it away or punch it away or even therapy it away. You have to endure it. You have to live through it and love it and move on and be better for it and run as far as you can in the direction of your best and happiest dreams across the bridge that was built by your own desire to heal.” -Cheryl Strayed How do you heal? You let the pain pass through you. You feel your feelings....

Keep Reading

I Didn’t Know How Much I Needed Other Mothers

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Two mom friends smiling at each other

I read somewhere the other day that when a child is born, a parent is too. In my first few months being a mother, I’m learning just how odd that sentiment is. In an instant, I became someone new. Not only that, but I became part of a group I didn’t realize existed. That sounds wrong. Of course, mothers existed. But this community of mothers? I had no idea. It took us a long time to get where we are today. Throughout our journey with infertility, I knew in my heart I was meant to be a mother. I knew that...

Keep Reading

To the Extended Family That Shows Up: We Couldn’t Do This Without You

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Family visiting new baby in a hospital room

This picture—my heart all but bursts every time I see it.  It was taken five years ago on the day our daughter was born. In it, my husband is giving her her very first bath while our proud extended family looks on. It was a sweet moment on a hugely special day, but gosh–what was captured in this photo is so much more than that. This photo represents everything I could have ever hoped for my kids: That they would have an extended family who shows up in their lives and loves them so deeply.  That they would have grandparents,...

Keep Reading

Please Don’t Tell a Couple Trying to Conceive to Just Relax

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Black-and-white photo of medical supplies

This is a plea. A plea to those who know someone who is struggling with infertility. So, if you’re reading this, this is directed right to you. Please, for the love of everything, when someone tells you they are struggling to conceive, do not tell them to “just relax.” I know it’s the cliche, default term most blurt out because they don’t know what else to say. It’s awkward to discuss for some. I’m 10000% positive it is coming from a good place and is meant to be calming and reassuring, and you really do believe it’s true because a...

Keep Reading

My Husband Having a Stroke at 30 Wasn’t in Our Plans

In: Faith, Living
Husband and wife, selfie, color photo

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” (Jeremiah 29:11, NIV) This verse in the book of Jeremiah has long been a favorite of mine. In fact, it’s felt relevant across many life events. Its simple, yet powerful reminder has been a place of solace, perhaps even a way to maintain equilibrium when I’ve felt my world spinning a bit out of control. In this season of starting fresh and new year intentions, I find great comfort in knowing...

Keep Reading

That Mom at the Playground Could Become Your Best Friend

In: Friendship, Motherhood
Young mother sitting on bench looking at playground

I didn’t realize I was that mom at the playground. That mom who always smiles at the other moms even if she doesn’t know them. That mom who often makes small talk while she pushes her toddler on the swings. That mom who strikes up a conversation while sitting on the bench watching her older kid play. That mom who can often tell whether you are interested in talking to her or not. And if you don’t seem interested, that’s okay. Because maybe you’re preoccupied with other things going on in your life right now. Maybe you’re overwhelmed with the...

Keep Reading

The Shattering Grief of Suicide

In: Grief, Living, Loss
Sad person sitting in darkened hallway, black and white image

Navigating through my second Christmas without my dad, the weight of grief seemed even heavier this year. In fact, everything felt and looked different to me. As I unwrapped the ornaments and cards he gave me over the years, a tidal wave of madness and sadness engulfed me. I know many feel sadness and grieve during these times, but let me just say . . . suicide is a different type of grief. My vibrant, happy, physically fit dad committed suicide on April 30th, 2022. There, I said it. In the aftermath, a myriad of emotions consumed me. One perplexing...

Keep Reading

“I Can’t Do This Anymore,” He Said—Then Everything Changed

In: Living, Marriage
Woman with head in hands

The questions are very much valid. Did I know when I married him? Did I know when we struggled with infertility and trying to become parents? Did I know when we unexpectedly became pregnant with our second child? When did you know your husband was an alcoholic? The answer is simple yet so complex, I pretty much knew from the first year, yet I was in complete denial. When I met him, he was just my type—a bad boy with a bad reputation, yet so cute! On our third date or so, I saw how much he could drink and how...

Keep Reading

Mean Girls Aren’t Like the Ones You See In Movies

In: Friendship
Woman whispering in another woman's ear

Mean girls aren’t like Regina George. If they were, it would be easy to know to stay away from them. Not all mean girls are wealthy, image-conscious, stick-thin blondes. They also don’t always have the reputation of being “mean girls.” The problem is that mean girls are way worse than Regina George because they don’t look like mean girls. Mean girls can be your “friends.” Mean girls know how to gain and betray your trust. They are the girls who, on a rough day, ask you what’s going on not because they care about you, but so they can have...

Keep Reading

My Husband’s in Love with a Different Woman Now

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Couple standing by Christmas decorations

He’s in love with a different woman now . . . I met my husband seven years ago. We got married and went on adventures. Went to some weddings and had a bunch of kids. Every Christmas party season, we would celebrate by going out to dinner . . . except this year that one dress didn’t fit. I had my husband try to zip it, and then my mom . . . there was no budging. I had been tiny, I had been heavy—sick and healthy. My weight had been a roller coaster always. But, this special dress had always...

Keep Reading