New momma, I see you. I look at your picture, and when everyone else sees a smile shining back, I look in your eyes. And I can see you’re struggling.
Nobody sees how lost you feel. Nobody sees how scared you are. Nobody sees how hard you are on yourself. You are a new mother and trying your absolute best.
But you didn’t know it was going to be this hard. You didn’t know you wouldn’t bond with your baby right away. You didn’t know you would undergo a C-section and have no skin-to-skin. You didn’t know you wouldn’t get to hold your first baby for the first time until hours after his birth.
You didn’t know how guilty you would feel for not producing the right amount of milk. You didn’t know everyone would suddenly have an opinion about your choices. And you didn’t know this level of tired existed.
You ate the right food. You did the right exercises. You read all the books. You invested in the birthing class. But none of it was enough. Because nothing could ever prepare you for becoming a mother. You are trying so hard to hold it together even though you are slowly falling apart.
But I look in your eyes and I see you. Because the truth is, I once was you. And I would give anything to go back. To tell myself I was doing a good job. To reassure myself my thoughts and feelings were normal. To give myself grace. To give myself a hug. To remind myself I was enough. And I still am. And momma, so are you. I see you. Even when you’ve lost sight of yourself.
Originally published on the author’s Instagram page
by Hannah Dunaway 
