Ornaments, Candles, Tees and More! Order Soon for Christmas Delivery!🎄 ➔

We spent a week of summer out of town with family. We traded rest time every day for the pool, cousins, games, playgrounds and science camp. It was fun for everyone and felt like a vacation from the normal schedule which helped us welcome summer in with a bang.

But, I noticed something in my 6-year-old homeschooled child. He needs quiet and time alone.

He was sleep trained as a newborn and until this week away had consistently napped or had rest time for his whole life. Yes, of course it would be skipped from time to time but never for ten days in a row. Not being enrolled in school allowed for our schedule to include rest, quiet, play, friends, and activity. It also masked his introverted tendencies.

In her book, Raising Your Spirited Child, Mary Sheedy Kurcinka explains introverts as people whose energy is depleted by time spent with others. “They need a break, a chance to energize by having space and quiet.” Alternatively, she explains that “Extroverts, draw their energy from people.”

So often my very social child convinces me into believe he is an extrovert just like me. He is fearless to ask people to play and invite friends or strangers over to our house for dinner. He regularly swaps phone numbers with kids at the playground or drags me over to another mother to ask for hers. Being introverted does not mean you are anti-social.

For so long I didn’t see or understand why he could bounce between extremes of asking to play with friends and then be content playing alone. I assumed he was tired or hungry or just a grumpy toddler when he threw a fit because we weren’t leaving the playground.

As an extroverted homemaker I can pack us up for the day and run us from playdates, to errands, to more playdates and get home with three whiny kids and one tired but emotionally full mom. I easily think we need people and activity to be content or well-rounded.

Making the effort to stay home in the quiet is scary for me. But it has taught me…

  • That needing time alone is not something you can get over. You also shouldn’t be forced to or asked to for hours or days on end.
  • That there is a real need for rest in our hearts, minds and bodies.
  • Introverted and extroverted has more to do with what gives you energy and what drains you then whether you like people or not.
  • Being introverted doesn’t mean you are a hermit.
  • That having limits is a good thing.
  • Overstimulation can be noise, light, crowds, activity or a combination

So we are building rest back into our summer routine. When we go out, we stay for less time. This challenges me and my other two extroverted children who would stay longer. But, it also teaches us how to be family and take care of each other.

I am thankful for a child who is different than me, who has shown me that I also get overstimulated and shrink into myself if there are too many days of social butterflying. I have a greater understanding of who I am and feel more confident to give myself a break in the quiet from time to time.

If you liked this, you'll love our new book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available for pre-order now!

Pre-Order Now

Curry Winters

Curry is a wife and SAHM to 3 wild and lovable young kids she is trying to home school. She is the initiator of family dance parties, uses exclamation marks more than periods & drinks Arnold Palmer's because they remind her of her grandmother. She has a deep desire to speak God’s truth and hope in the routines of life. She is a storyteller, a pursuer of community and very often found snuggling with her kids reading stacks of library books. Find her online at http://cfwinters.blogspot.com/

Don’t Fear the Gap

In: Baby, Kids, Motherhood
Baby lying on mother's chest, black-and-white photo

I was afraid of the gap. You know, the one where you have some kids and then wait several years to have another? That gap. When we moved here, we kept all the baby things because we weren’t ready to say we were done but weren’t ready to start over. Moving to the farm brought wayyy more chores than our neighborhood home and adding a tiny human to that mix felt a bit crazy. RELATED: I’ll Always Want Another Baby There were months of back and forth . . . talk of barefoot baby feet stomping all over this place...

Keep Reading

Dear Daughter, If Something Feels Off, It Probably Is—Trust Your Intuition

In: Kids, Living, Motherhood
Mother and daughter black and white photo

A few weeks ago, my 7-year-old daughter was playing at a friend’s house when she messaged me on her game tablet to come pick her up. I didn’t ask why I just went to get her. I asked her once she was home how it was, and she told me she had a weird feeling and she was just “trusting her guts,” which I loved hearing her say. Apparently, her friend had a bunch of extended family show up at the house that we were unaware of. She is extremely outgoing, friendly, and confident so she thought nothing of listening...

Keep Reading

10 Lessons I Hope You Learn Playing Youth Sports

In: Kids, Motherhood
Boy dribbling down basketball court, black-and-white photo

Last night was my sixth grader’s last basketball game of the season. He played with many of the same gang of boyhood friends he has known since kindergarten. This year, however, they were introduced to a traveling team, older players, and much stiffer competition than they had encountered in the past. They stood the test and played their little boy hearts out. I am proud of my son, his team, his coaches, and all the familiar faces we came to know in the Greenwood Laboratory School cheering section each week, sometimes two to three times in one week!  Here’s to...

Keep Reading

I Love You At Every Stage

In: Kids, Motherhood
Three children at park, color photo

Confession: I love the 1-year-old phase. Our youngest is one and such a joy to be around. He’s still so cuddly, finds such joy in the smallest things, is learning new things every day, and smiles at every little thing his big brother and sister do. I love the 3-year-old phase. Our only girl is three. She has a flair for the dramatic, but she is very forthright with her feelings. “I’m having a hard time.” “I just miss my daddy when he’s at the Fire House.” “I’m a princess.” “God made me beautiful.” She is quick to be a...

Keep Reading

Simple Moments Shape Childhood

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy in shallow water of beach

Sometimes it’s the little things that can turn out to be the biggest things. Motherhood has made me appreciate the everyday moments, the simple moments, differently.  Being outdoors with my boys can be simple in theory, but I absolutely love the adventures we take. Whether we are hiking, biking, swimming, exploring, or checking out a new park, this momma knows it is time well spent.  RELATED: I’m Watching You Grow Up in the Little Moments Because whether they realize it or not, these memories being made are the special ones. The ones my boys will carry with them in their...

Keep Reading

I Promise to Show Up for You

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mother and daughter in garden

My child, I hope you know you can count on this: I will show up for you. I will show up when you wake in the middle of the night, when you get up too early or stay up too late. I will be there to make your meals, read you a story, and tuck you into bed. I will show up when you are sick—taking time off work, bringing you to the doctor, cleaning up your throw-up, and sitting up with you. I will show up at every game, sitting in the stands or a camp chair, freezing or...

Keep Reading

Sometimes Growth Is Tangible, and When It Is You Hold On Tight

In: Kids, Motherhood
Mom putting bike helmet on child

I never expected my sign to come in the form of a plastic bag. As a parent, you’re told over and over how fast it all goes, to cherish these times because they’re gone in a blink. You see the gradual changes in your kids as they move through milestones. One day, they can hold their own spoon. They begin stringing words into sentences. Their ages are counted in years and no longer months. You watch these things happen every day, but I didn’t realize some transitions would come in tangible ways, like a grocery bag filled with wet swim...

Keep Reading

Some Nights They Need You a Little More

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy sleeping, color photo

Some nights they need you a little more, mama. Because of the bad dreams or the bogeyman they are adamant is under the bed. Because firefighter daddy’s schedule leaves him missing goodnight tuck-ins and bedtime stories several times a week, sometimes leaving them a little needier and more emotional. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. RELATED: I’ll Lay With You As Long As You Need, My Child Because they are sick. Because they feel safe in your presence. Some nights they need you a little more, mama. It’s not always easy. It’s not always (okay, hardly ever)...

Keep Reading

Sweet Babies, I’ll Be There

In: Kids, Motherhood
Two children lying in bed, color photo

When your world is calm and peaceful, I’ll be there. When your world is chaotic like an ice cream shop on the hottest day of summer, I’ll be there. When you need a Band-Aid applied and a boo-boo kissed, I’ll be there. When you want to perform in your Frozen microphone like you’re performing for a crowd of 20,000 people, I’ll be there. When you feel lost and alone, I’ll be there. When you feel you have nowhere to go, I’ll be there. RELATED: I Will Always Be There When You Need Me, My Son When you need a pep...

Keep Reading

I’m in the Big Little Years

In: Kids, Motherhood
black and white photo of little boy and little girl standing in a window together

I’m in the big little years. It’s when you’re no longer in the tender season of babies and toddlers—those sweet, smothering, exhausting years of being constantly touched and needed . . . . . . but you’re not yet in the big kid years—navigating boyfriends and driver’s licenses and bracing your heart for the impending ache of an empty nest. I’m somewhere in between. I’m in the years of having littles that aren’t so little anymore, but still need you for so much. They have big feelings. Big ideas. Big dreams. But they have mostly little problems (even though they...

Keep Reading