In high school I loved getting “Sassy” magazine so I could take their fun quizzes. Maybe it was “What kind of girlfriend are you?” or “What type of friend are you?”  or “What’s your back-to-school style?”  Do you remember those? 

What if there was a quiz for “What kind of widow are you?”–can you imagine?! You answer 10 questions and, boom, there’s your answer. But as a widow, I know that my “type” would change daily, like a mood ring.

Let’s play What Kind of Widow Are You Today (knowing tomorrow you can retake the quiz and get new answers)! There are no right or wrong answers! You’ll pick the response that best matches your current mood when asked any of the following comments from strangers:

  • “What does your husband do for a living?”
  • “How did your husband die?”
  • “May he rest in peace, now that he is an angel.”
  • “God only gives us what we can handle.”

Ready to play?

  1. “What does your husband do for a living?”

The Pessimistic Widow:  He is not alive, and it will only get worse every day that I am left here alive.

The Sarcastic Widow:  Unlike us, he walks on streets of gold and hangs with Jesus.

The Optimistic Widow:  He passed away, but he worked hard as a banker. 

The Realistic Widow:  I am a widow who lost my husband. It is not easy but I am coping.


  1. “How did your husband die?”

The Pessimistic Widow:  By God stealing him from me because God must be mad at me.

The Sarcastic Widow:  I didn’t kill him, though we had some disagreements along the way. Maybe I almost killed him with kindness. How do you think your husband will die some day?

The Optimistic Widow:  His death was unexpected, but so many others have started coming to church after his funeral, which is so wonderful.

The Realistic Widow:  It’s wild that we are all going to die. It was hard to know he suffered but it is unchangeable.


  1. “May he rest in peace, now that he is an angel.”

The Pessimistic Widow:  Well I know I will never rest again, and let me tell you, he sure was no angel on earth.

The Sarcastic Widow:  I didn’t realize angels rested, but that sounds like a dream gig for sure.

The Optimistic Widow:  I bet he is enjoying his well-deserved rest and I am so happy for him.

The Realistic Widow:  Thanks for your kind words. I’m not convinced he is an angel but I am glad he feels no pain. 


  1. “God only gives us what we can handle.”

The Pessimistic Widow:  I can’t handle even sipping from my half-empty cup. There’s no telling what God will make me handle next.

The Sarcastic Widow:  I’m pretty freaking amazing. It’s hard to contain my awesomeness and God knows it. Maybe He’ll give me even more soon.

The Optimistic Widow:  I know that many opportunities lie ahead and I am excited to see what is in store for my future.

The Realistic Widow:  God is very good, even when He allows us to suffer. He actually has given me more than I can handle, but I can do all things through Christ.


So what kind of widow do you think you are (at least for this HOUR)? Aren’t you relieved there is no “right” or “wrong” answer? You have endured much and it’s okay to be a little sweet and even a little sour too!

Debbie Wilkins Baisden

Debbie is a mom to 4 boys (Paul, Brad, Andrew, and Joshua, or “PBAndJ” for short). Unexpectedly widowed in 2012, Debbie’s world was turned upside down. Clinging to God, her stay-at-home mom days in suburbia now demanded a paying job. Instead of returning to the classroom, she decided that Chapter 2 of life meant pursuing her passion of all things fitness and nutrition. She enjoys helping women look and feel their best. Debbie remarried in 2014 and lives in North Carolina.