No More Little Girl Shoes

When my daughter said she needed new shoes, I didn’t think much of it, and we made a trip to the store to pick out a new pair. When we got there, we went (as usual) to the aisle with the girls’ size shoes. She is only 10 after all.

We looked and tried on many pairs and each one she told me was too small or too tight even after we went up to the biggest size they had. Finally, I realized this wasn’t going to work and suggested we look at the smaller-sized shoes in the women’s section. I knew my daughter was growing and that her old shoes were getting too small, but boy, was I unprepared for this.

We made our way to the women’s section and began looking through the options for tennis shoes. The first pair we tried was a size 6, I thought this would work, but it was still too small. We tried a size up, and it was still too small. This continued, going up by half a size each time until we got to an 8.5—the same size I wear. Sure enough, this was the one. I couldn’t believe it.

I ended up grabbing a pair of girls’ sized shoes to compare and found that surprisingly, there wasn’t a big difference between the largest size in girls and this size in women’s. But it was enough of a difference that the women’s size shoe was more comfortable for her and a better fit.

That’s when it hit me–no more little girl shoes. Then it hit me that it won’t be long until she moves into junior-sized clothing, and we’re done with the little girls’ clothing too.

In fact, I’m actually pretty sure the last pair of jeans I bought her were a size zero in juniors, which was a complete accident as it was on a rack in the girls’ clothing section, and I didn’t realize it was a juniors size until I got home. But to my surprise, they fit her just fine.

All the end stages we’ve already experienced started playing through my mind. The end of breastfeeding and bottles, baby food, pacifiers, car seats, booster seats, strollers, cribs, sippy cups–I didn’t realize how many there had already been until now. How in the world is my firstborn already 10 years old? Where did the time go?

Some days, I still feel weird about the fact I’m a mom—like it hasn’t fully hit me—yet somehow, I’ve apparently been doing this for 10 years, and I don’t know what to do with that information. Seriously.

But I’m choosing to look at this in a different light. We might be at the end of the little girl stage, but this is also a beginning. It’s the beginning of young adulthood, as scary as that sounds. And I know there’s a lot to look forward to in this new stage we’re entering.

I get to witness as she grows into her own person, with interests and talents and preferences all unique to her. I get to guide her into adulthood. This next stage might just be the most important one yet.

So while I’m still processing the fact that my (not so) little girl is growing up before my very eyes, I’m also looking forward to what is still to come. There is an equal sadness for what we’re leaving behind, as there is an eagerness for what lies ahead. Doesn’t that just sum up motherhood though?

The way we miss the younger versions of our children and long for those days, yet at the same time take such joy in the person they are becoming as they grow and all the new experiences that come with age. I never understood that before, but it all makes sense to me now.

Navigating this whole motherhood thing is not an easy task–I know that much, but I also know I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. What a privilege it is to raise these little humans and watch them grow. I’ll never take that for granted.