The big A word that for me means tears, stress, headaches, nervousness, & an overwhelming feeling.
The big A word that I have determined to rid my vocabulary, and life of! I have always struggled with anxiety. Not an everyday anxiety but more like panic anxiety over certain situations. Large crowds, public speaking, small-enclosed spaces, airplanes, etc.
I married a contract worker – that means the unknown is common. My husband is a professional basketball player overseas in Europe. He has an agent he works with & every year we pack up & move to a new team, new city, new country, & new apartment. Oh yea – and lots of airplanes!! I also am a new mom to an 8-month-old baby boy. This brings on a whole lot of other emotions & feelings of anxiety. Am I doing things right? Is he okay? Is he normal? Is he growing the right amount? And, as of last week—the awful screams because he fell over & got his first real boo-boo. (Now I must really be an awful mama.)
As I admitted publicly for the first time this week in my bible study, I realized that I have not 100% given my anxiety to God. It has been easy for me to pray about my anxiety or a decision that we need to make, but I wasn’t truly releasing that problem. I would say it was given to Him, but then I would still worry about it, cry about it, stress about it, & complain about it.
I had three bible verses come to my mind about being anxious.
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6”
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7”
“Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 1 Peter 5:6-8”
God knows that within our flesh we are weak. Our minds flood with negativity, self doubt, & fear. Because He knows this, He has given us hope in scripture that can assure me that my anxiety is my flesh winning & that I have not put all my trust in Him. If I cast all my anxiety & burdens upon Him, trust in Him to heal me, & ask Him for peace – He will give it. How amazing is that promise? And why in the world have I not given this burden 100% to Him?
I will no longer let my flesh lead me. I will no longer let that little A word rule parts of my marriage, parenting, & life. Of course, we will all worry about our families, our jobs, & our futures. It is actually important that we have a concern for these things. But I no longer have to let the unknown of these things affect my life. If I am starting to have anxiety over an issue, I will immediately cast those fears in prayer & move on.
God knows your struggles, He knows the desires of your heart, & He is open & waiting for us to give all of that to Him. I am so grateful, and a little less crazy!
feature image source: jamesAnn Photography