Death of a Parent Grief

This Too Shall Pass

A beautiful tribute to her Grandmother www.herviewfromhome.com
Written by Andrea Wenburg

I feel big feelings. I don’t mind the intensity of my feelings when they are pleasant, but when the storms of life swirl in, fear and pain can overwhelm me. It is hard to know what to do with deep emotions. But I believe in owning them. I believe in being honest about what’s going on inside.

So, common sayings used to write off real and deep emotion rub me the wrong way. Often biblical truths are employed in unbiblical ways to minimize or even negate deep work going on in the heart. You probably know what I’m talking about:

“God is in control.”

“At least they are in a better place.”

“Just pray about it.”

Trite sayings drive me nuts.

But when my Grandma acknowledges something difficult and says, “this too shall pass,” she doesn’t sound like a woman afraid of her feelings. Rather, her words are wisdom – honey dripping from trembling lips.

My Grandma is no stranger to fear and pain. She grew up during the depression, sent her high school sweetheart to World War II, buried a young daughter, sent a son off to Vietnam, and lost many friends and family members along the way – including her life-long love. But with six children, twelve grandchildren, eighteen great-grandchildren and an extensive network of family and friends, she also knows the precious joy of a tight-knit community.

For a month we knew Grandma’s days on earth were numbered. As her weary heart worked harder to beat, she told us she was ready for heaven. “I have been blessed in this life. I am tired of being blessed.”

The day I kissed my Grandma goodbye was not her last. Two weeks later I went back, concerned for her emotional wellbeing. This emotionally sensitive girl wondered: how does one lie fully conscious for weeks, praying to die? When I arrived, I realized that though she was not happy, she was not depressed. She was simply waiting for this to pass, knowing that her pain was temporary, placing her hope in what was to come.

A few days later she kissed the world goodbye.

Now I look around me. I see my mom laughing with our children and feel my dad’s embrace. I cuddle with my husband and look forward to summer days running and splashing and laughing and growing our young family, and I think…

I don’t want this to pass.

But it will. These moments – the sweet, the celebratory, the innocent, the intimate – these pleasant moments are just as fleeting as the difficult ones. What am I to do with this weighty reality? How do I cope with the fact that despite how tightly I cling to the things I love, they will not endure and the storms will come?

“This too shall pass” anchored my Grandma’s emotions in faith. She was an imperfect woman who put her hope in God instead of her present circumstances. We plan to have the phrase engraved in her handwriting on necklaces. As it rests on my heart, my heart will rest knowing that my deep emotion does not depend on my circumstances. I can anchor my real and deep emotions in that which will not pass away. Just like Grandma.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.

I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation,

whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.

I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

                                                                                                    Philippians 4:12-13

About the author

Andrea Wenburg

I’m Andrea, author of the bestselling book, UNFROZEN: Stop Holding Back and Release the Real You. I’m a wife to Aaron and mom to two beautifully creative kids. When they’re not around I’m working as a writer, speaker and strategist for my company Impact By Design, helping people find and refine their “voice” in the world as a person and/or a Personal Brand. I love writing about the experiences and lessons I learn on my journey to find, refine and express the voice of my heart. I do what I do so others might be equipped and inspired to realize how they might be holding back so they can release their true selves for the sake of others.

You can find more of my writing, audio and video, on my website http://andreajoywenburg.com

You can also find me on
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/andreajoywenburg?ref=hl
And Twitter: https://twitter.com/AndreaWenburg

B.A. Music Education
M.A. Counseling Ministries

3 Comments

  • Thank you for this post, Andrea. My 91-year-old Nana has been in a hospital and nursing home this month. We are all amazed at her peace and patience through tough times — much like that exhibited by your own grandmother. Grateful for this generation of steadfast women and all they’ve taught us through their example.

  • Andrea, your Grandma and Grandpa shared their vision and wisdom with me many times over the years. I love them both dearly as well and miss them. Looking forward to the day I will see them again. You have written a beautiful piece here and I see your have a lot of both of them in you with wisdom and vision.

  • I still love this post so much. The last time I spent time with Grandma as she sat up in her chair trying to ‘be present’, she said…”let’s see what else do I want to know and talk about with you before it’s over?” Even in those moments she wanted to engage and make me feel like she cared. Aww. She was so great.