A tragedy happened.

Your heart was broken.

Maybe it was betrayal or rejection. Grief or loss.

Something happened and you haven’t been the same since.

So you’ve been trying to do things to get back to that old you . . . the you before everything happened.

You and God have been picking up the pieces of your shattered heart. Healing has been happening.

Yet, you are still looking back and wondering why you don’t feel like the old you. Why aren’t you like you used to be?

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How can you get back to that person, the pre-tragedy you?

This is the part of grief many people don’t talk about.

The part where you have to grieve that you will never be the old you again.

Not entirely, at least.

Because what happens when we go through something traumatic or tragic is that everything changes to some degree—our thoughts, emotions, our perspective on life, our relationships, and many other things.

The old us didn’t have this knowledge of hardship.

The old us wasn’t impacted by the grief like we are now.

Our view of the world has changed, and we can’t go back and pretend it didn’t happen.

We are different.

And honestly, that can be really heartbreaking to accept.

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We can look back and think of the “good ol’ days” when we weren’t like we are now.

But friend, I want to encourage you.

This does not mean that life can never be good.

It doesn’t mean that you’ll never experience joy, peace, and love again. It doesn’t mean you can’t have an abundant life.

It doesn’t mean that at all.

Your life may be different than it was, but it can still be an amazing life.

Because the truth is, the old you didn’t know this kind of strength. This new you knows the fight you have inside, and that the grace of God that will always help you get up.

The old you may have taken for granted what this new you cherishes.

The new you has an opportunity to really love and focus on what matters most.

You might miss the old you, and that’s OK.

The core of who you are, your identity in Jesus, is not gone . . . but you are different now.

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There is no doubt in my mind that you couldn’t come to love and appreciate this you.

Remember, God works for our good in the worst of our tragedies. He’s behind the scenes right now, doing something in you. He’s building you up and He will redeem what has been lost.

You get to co-write a new story with God for this new you.

Hear me when I say, it’s OK to grieve. But make sure you are giving this you a chance, too.

Because the post-tragedy you . . . is pretty amazing, too.

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Kelli Bachara

Kelli Bachara is a wife and mom to two sweet kiddos. She is a mental health therapist, writer, and podcaster. Kelli loves her Goldendoodle, coffee, and this beautiful thing called life. You can find her at www.kellibachara.com.