T H I R T Y T W O.
This week I turned 32. I woke up completely congested, snotty and miserable. I sadly had to take the day off work and spend the day on my own. It was lonely, but reflective. I’ve experienced a heck of a lot in 32 years. Here’s some of the lessons I’ve learned.
Use your sick days. Yes, it’s an awful feeling to call in sick to a job you love and disappoint people that you respect and value. But that sick leave is there for a reason so when you’re really sick, you deserve to use it!
Family is everything. I didn’t realise just how much until after I turned 30 and things started to change. Family shouldn’t be taken for granted. Ever. Tell them you love them. Get in contact as often as you can.
Kindness Rocks. Being kind is the fundamental core practice. All good things come from kindness. You can uplift someone. You can soothe someone. You can save someone. And it turn, it can uplift, soothe and save yourself through kindness too. I highly recommend it. Give to others. Give your time, your opinions and your gratitude. There is no better feeling.
Smile. A smile is one of only two core emotions that know no language barrier. A smile can change someone’s whole day. A smile can comfort and empathise. It’s infectious. A smile is so very powerful. Smile at the nearest person to you… right now!
Tea fixes everything. Seriously, it fixes everything. A rough night or a poor sleep. An upset tummy, a hangover or some bad news. Tea soothes. Best enjoyed in a fine china cup (an antique cup is recommended – with a saucer) tea can really fix anything.
So can wine. Yep… all things. A bad day or a long day. A break up or a break down. A great day or an achievement. A celebration or a realisation. A special moment or the best achievement of your life. It’s a way to relax or wind-down. It’s a magnificent pat on the backside and says ‘yeah girl, you’ve got this!’
Start living for tomorrow. Until my thirties, I was all about living as fast as I could and experiencing as much as I could but only living for today. Start thinking about the future in regards to assets, superannuation, income protection and life insurance. Who knows… at 32 I could be half way already (if I’m lucky)!
Watch the good movies over and over. Pretty Woman. Under the Tuscan Sun. The Holiday. Eat Pray Love. Inside Out. Tangled. Life is short. Grab a wine, some antipasto and pull up a chair!
Read. Devour books like they’re candy. Expand your mind and walk in someone else’s shoes. Lose yourself in the magic of characterisation, clever plots and erotic desires. The more you read, the more you’ll know. The more you know, they more places you’ll go. – Dr Suess.
Check your skin. Too many young people are dying from skin cancer and melanoma. I bear the scars of two nasty mole removals and thank goodness I do because not only did they save me, they invite questions and allow me to spread the word on getting a skin check. Some of my friends haven’t been so lucky. Check your skin!
Get a Pap Smear! Don’t be a pussy. Don’t put it off. After quite a traumatic experience and surgery, I can’t urge women enough to make sure they’re consistently getting their pap smear done. Book it in!!!
No one really cares about what you’re wearing. It’s a myth! After changing my outfit four times, I usually placate myself through the realisation that no one is actually going to get that close to my crutch to notice that it crinkles in the wrong place. Just wear the dang outfit and get on with your life!
People pleasing is a crippling disease. Boy do I know this more than anyone. It is the source of all my anxiety and the reason that I rarely feel I can live up to people’s expectations. It’s exhausting and it’s absolute codwaddle. I accept criticism well, but seldom do I cope without receiving words of affirmation for all that I do. I think this is a GenY thing. We all grew up being told we could be anything and do anything. We were told we were amazing and clever. Then we became adults in the real world. Game over.
Divorce can set you free. I would never have been the independent, strong, determined and successful woman that I am today if I was still married and my true self continued to be suppressed by a gender-biased relationship, masquerading as a modern day love story.
Good sex is in the bedside table of the beholder. I didn’t ever believe this until I became the top selling consultant in a national sexual wellness company. I created a five figure business before ever owning my own products and they’ve revolutionised my love life. I copped a lot of slack when I started this business, however I truly believe that sexual wellness education for women of all ages and stages of life and is vital to the happiness of women everywhere; whether it be sensual self-care or beautiful underwear!
Systems and Routines will set you free. A paradox, I know. Following a strict routine of any sorts (fitness, cleaning, meal planning etc) will create the freedom for you to enjoy whatever you want without feeling the pressure or weight of the world’s obligations. Create some amazing routines and get to work. After all, there’s wine waiting for you at the end as a fabulous reward!
Glitter is the herpes of the craft world. As sand is to the outdoor world. Once there’s glitter in your carpet or sand in your car, it’s there forever. True story.
Value honesty. Without it, you have nothing. Nothing at all. It is hard to tell the truth about something you’ve done, but it’s even harder than keeping up the charade. Be honest – speak the truth no matter how hard.
You catch more flies with honey. Whatever you want or desire, can be manifested through a sweet approach. Asking with kindness, respect and slight, gentle ignorance can get you far!
Your foot is usually too big for your mouth anyway. I need to learn to shut my mouth. Loose lips sink ships. I reckon I’ve sunk the equivalent of the Titanic over the years.
Self care is the most important thing in the world. Without it, you’ll burn out. Everyday I take at least 20 minutes of time out for myself. I might read, go for a walk, find solace and have a glass of wine, lay on my bed or have a cup of tea. It revitalises me and makes me a better person.
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. I’ve always been in either too much of a rush to do things, or too late to do them at all. Life is all about timing. I get it right about half the time.
We’re all lifelong learners. So act like it! Read everything can. Ask important questions. Be curious. Share your knowledge. Find the silver linings. Analyse your mistakes. Say sorry. Growth is what keeps you living!
Sleep is the best part of the day. There’s nothing better than crawling into bed at the end of the day and relaxing in clean, crisp sheets and complete comfort. The more I sleep, the more in tune I become with myself and the others around me. I always look forward to going to sleep.
Follow your passions. Find out what you’re passionate about and follow your dreams! It’s never too late to begin glowing from the inside and making yourself happy. What’s your excuse?
Be brave enough to say no. Not only saying no, but saying no without feeling the need to explain oneself. To say no without guilt. To say no without feeling like you’re letting someone else down. It’s bloody hard!
Hang onto the fairy tales, even though you can see right through them. There’s something completely awe-inspiring and exhilarating about fairy tales. They’re magical and create a sense of hope that everyone really does live happily ever after. I don’t know anyone who has, but golly gosh it’s got to be the best thing in the world…. Right?
Mother Guilt is real and it sucks. As human beings, we were here first. We had a life. Then we created life. But we still exist. We still have BIG aspirations and dreams. But they come at a cost. Guilt. It doesn’t need to be this way. The more I fill my own love cup by working on my passion, the more equipped I am to fill my family’s love cup. So why should I feel guilty about that?
What other people think of you is none of your business. Although this is easier said than done. I’m still working on this.
No excuses. At the end of the day, my life is the way it is because I have actively participated in all of the decisions that led me to this very point. For all of the things I stuffed up, I own them. For every lie I’ve told, I told them. For every success I’ve had, I’ve earned them. There are NO excuses.
Put the phone away. Look into your child’s eyes and actually PLAY with them. I hate to think how many times my little girl has looked up at me and seen my phone and not my face. It would break my heart if she thought that I was absent in my presence. There will be a day when I won’t be here anymore and I don’t want her to look back and think of me this way. Each day, I ensure that I ‘switch off’ so that we can enjoy authentic time together. Just us. These are the memories that I want her to have of me.
Get in contact with old friends. Since I’ve turned 30, I’ve lost friends and family to cancer, accidents and jail. Once they’re gone, they’re gone. For now, everyone is at your beck and call, so call before it’s too late.
And one more for the next year….
Love yourself. If you don’t, you can’t truly love anyone else.