Six years ago after the birth of my son, I was severely lacking in the friendship department. All of my friends were either living far away or were single. There weren’t many moms I could confide in and I racked my brain to try to think of ways to meet other moms.
I tried to join a local mom’s group which consisted of me, the group leader, and two ladies who were already best friends.
Nothing came from this and I left the group feeling more lonely than I started. That feeling stayed with me until I went back to work and eventually through trial and error made some good mom friends.
No one knows better than me what it feels like to be lonely. A good talk session with a fellow mom friend is sometimes better than therapy.
So… if you’re in the same boat that I was in, here are four un-lame ways to make more mom friends. Don’t worry I won’t tell you to ditch your iphone because sometimes those are life savers during awkward moments when you are alone in the crowd.
1. Food. Yes, that’s right. Everyone likes it and how can it be awkward when you’re bringing someone something that they love. Now, I am not saying to suddenly pull up into a parking lot and hand a stranger some cookies. I’m talking about bringing out some snacks or cookies when you see another familiar mom or moms at that park or playgroup. You’ll be everyone’s friend and it’s a good conversation starter. No one is ever going to think badly about someone who brings food.
2. Make the first move. I know that sometimes introducing yourself can make you feel like you’re back in junior high. However, the moms that do this always seem really cool. It shows that you have confidence (even if it’s fake!). No one is going to get mad at a friendly person and if they do, they weren’t worth the effort.
3. Join a local mom’s group on Facebook. Six years ago while I was on Facebook, there weren’t any Facebook groups in my area. Now there are all kinds. Just do a Facebook search for mom groups in your area. It’s common for women in these groups to post and request other moms for playdates or coffee.
4. Bring extra toys! Once you join a mom’s group, have some extra toys on hand. You’ll be a life saver to some other mom. Obviously, this won’t work if you have kids that are no longer preschoolers. However, what I find also works is having extra band-aids, wipes, Tylenol (for us moms of course!) and Kleenex. Again you can be the hero and it’s a great way to get someone to talk with you.
Don’t lose hope and don’t stop trying. Eventually, you’ll make a new mom friend that you can’t imagine yourself without. It’s good for our children to have friends–but we need them too.
It can be a tiring, exhausting, happy and fulfilling job raising our children. Yet we can be better mothers if we also have a support system for ourselves.