A Gift for Mom! 🤍

The story was always the same. I’d spend an enjoyable afternoon at someone else’s tidy, stylish home. I’d take notice of the nicely organized kitchen and the large walk-in pantry, the toys neatly tucked away, and the bonus room where the kids played contentedly as the adults chatted. They would talk about their land and the new house they were building. They would discuss their upcoming trip scuba diving with whales or hiking through Switzerland. And I would sit, wondering if we’d be able to pay our bills that month or get both groceries and gas that week.

We’d drive home, and I’d see the house we tried to sell, twice, with no interest. The porch rails required a paint job. The uneven sidewalk needed to be replaced. I’d walk through the door to a pile of laundry on the couch, toys strewn across the floor, and the sink full of dishes. I’d see the mismatched furniture and hear the kids playing or arguing loudly, only feet away.

Then, I’d pick up my phone and search for house listings or scour the Facebook marketplace for furniture to solve the problem in our house. I’d look around the living room and start rearranging the layout in my head. “We just need a different system,” I’d tell Brandon. He’d heard it many times, and learned to go along.

And then, it clicked.

After hours of looking for the right entertainment center, one that would hold our electronics and every toy, I stopped. I thought about the debt we’d been working to pay off, the bills we struggled to pay each month, the tuition, and the preschool costs. And I decided to stop wishing for what I didn’t have and work with what I did.

I sorted toys into the baskets I got for my birthday. Anything left found a home in the boys’ bedroom or the donation box. I pulled down my curtains to wash and alter them instead of buying new ones. I spent hours shampooing and steaming our stained rug.

And soon, I realized my home wasn’t the problem—the chaos was.

Someone was always complaining because they needed socks or underwear or “soft” shorts. The bathrooms were always gross. The sink was always full of dishes. Everyone was always stressed.

I set up some routines, to keep the chaos at bay. Every morning, I started a load of laundry. Every day when we got home, I put it in the dryer, then folded and put it away after the kids were asleep. After each meal, we’d clean the table and sweep the floor. After dinner, I’d clean the counters and run the dishwasher. I’d make lunches for the next day and pack the backpacks and diaper bag. When the littlest goober had a bath, I’d wipe down the bathroom while he played in the tub.

The more I did these little chores, the more content I began to feel. The house was more peaceful, and it felt like I could breathe a bit more.

Our home wasn’t anything fancy, but did it need to be?

This is the house we bought two days after returning home from our honeymoon. Where we slept on twin mattresses on the floor, just to spend that first night in our own home. This is the house where I cried at the loss of my big brother and where we buried Vincent, the sweetest dog anyone has ever known. This is the home where we brought our babies to learn about life and family and security. It’s where they learned to crawl and walk and talk and love.

The steep driveway that drove away potential buyers is an adventure for our kids, always asking to go down the hill to find sticks and rocks and pretend to be ninjas. Our broken sidewalk has displayed countless pieces of chalk artwork and hopscotch squares. This house is where we wake each Christmas morning, where my son puts his lost teeth under his pillow, and where we decorate with streamers and balloons when someone turns another year older.

This is where we’ve become a family.

This is our home. This is the house where we live.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Nicole Lasley

Nicole is a wife and a mama to three energetic boys, a Licensed Massage Therapist, and loves sewing, writing, and cheesecake.

I Never Got to Meet My Grandmother on This Side of Heaven

In: Living
Old black and white family photo

Grandmother, I never met you this side of Heaven, but I feel as though I have. Your pictures, scattered throughout my mother’s home, tell your story. Born to a woman who came to this country alone when she was just 16, you would be the youngest of four, with two sisters and a brother. Your short, dark, straight hair clings to your little face, a line of bangs neatly combed high on your forehead. You couldn’t be more than three years old as you sit on a stool at your sister’s First Holy Communion. The black and white photo makes...

Keep Reading

The Hardest Part of Divorce Is Being Away from My Kids

In: Living, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman in driver's seat

I’ve written several times about how divorce has allowed me to find myself again, and how that version is even better than the one I was before I was married. All of that is still true. I am happier than I’ve ever been. More confident and sure of myself. I understand my emotions and how to handle myself when things get tough or scary. I am more grounded and calm than I’ve ever been. Truly, I have come out on top. I’ve received comments about how happy I look, how I’m “living my best life with kids only half the...

Keep Reading

My Dad Gave Us Something Money Never Could

In: Living
Family smiling in posed photo

I was talking with my dad the other day about an upcoming Disney trip with our kids. I told him all we planned to do while we were there and how excited the kids were. He sat and listened, taking it all in. And then he said something that put a lump in my throat. “I’m so glad you’re able to give your kids the life that I couldn’t.” He went on to say he still carries some guilt–that he wishes he could have done more, taken us on trips, given us experiences he couldn’t. Hearing that broke my heart....

Keep Reading

Dear Daddy, I Wish You Could See Yourself As We Do

In: Living, Marriage
father with two young children

The side of my husband who is hardest on himself usually shows up late at night. The house is quiet, the kids are finally asleep, and the day has done what it always does—taken everything it could from both of us. That’s usually when it comes out. The voice in his head that tells him he’s not doing enough as a father. Not present enough. Not patient enough. Not good enough. He doesn’t say it lightly. He says it like someone confessing a truth he wishes wasn’t true. Like he’s already measured himself against some invisible standard of fatherhood and...

Keep Reading

Mothers and Stepmothers: Who’s on First?

In: Living
Little girl looking through fingers

The roles. The expectations. The unspoken, undefined rules. The hurt feelings no one wants to talk about. It could be a scene from an old Abbott and Costello routine: “Who’s on first?” Motherhood is rarely clear-cut. And if you’ve ever tried to navigate life alongside a stepmother—or as one—you know how quickly things can become complicated. Add a stepmother to the mix, and suddenly it’s a relay race where no one’s quite sure who’s holding the baton, or if anyone wants it. This isn’t a story about winners and losers or choosing sides. It isn’t about who is right or...

Keep Reading

Do We Really Want a ’90s Summer?

In: Living
Girl holding popsicle

The year is 2026: we’re inviting thousands of strangers to get ready with us, threatening our own deaths on a lot of different hills and, if you’re a millennial mom, determined to have a ’90s summer. Some top to-dos on the ’90s mom summer checklist? Lots of outside play, limited screens, less hustle, more simplicity. Overall, evoking the “carefree” summers of the 1990s. But did anyone ever ask the real ‘90s moms if summers back then were all we’re cracking them up to be? If my own memory serves me right, my parents talked a whole lot about summers in...

Keep Reading

To the Woman Who Was Betrayed

In: Living, Marriage
Woman looking off to the fog

He promised you a lifetime, a family, safety, and security. You carried life and brought it into this world for him. Even still, in the trenches of postpartum, he betrayed you. It was never your fault. This is something I’ve fought to tell myself every single day since the day I discovered my marriage was never meant to last. Because the truth is, betrayal is never about you; it’s about them, and the character flaws deep within they’d rather bury than face. He watched as you fought for your life after delivery while your tiny, premature newborn spent the first...

Keep Reading

5 Things I’m Learning about 50

In: Living
birthday balloons

When my dad turned 80, he—and we, by default—celebrated all year. My sister made a fantastic, larger-than-life sign of him posing in front of his friend’s antique car, with beautiful calligraphy that trumpeted, “Cheers to you, celebrating 80 years of life!” The sign welcomed his closest friends and family into a private room at a steakhouse, where we toasted his 80 years—and the grandkids toasted his steady presence in their lives. The sign moved from the swanky steakhouse to the second-floor banister in my parents’ house. When you walked in, it greeted you—a feel-good conversation starter and a reminder to...

Keep Reading

I’m Constantly Waiting for the Metaphorical Axe To Fall

In: Living
Woman worried with head in lap

I knew people died. I just didn’t think it applied to us. Mortality met me in grade two with a punch to the gut when my teacher confirmed casually that, yes, everybody dies. What do you mean, everybody dies? I frantically thought, but kept my question to myself. Up until that moment, I had quietly believed my family was exempt from that fate. I thought death was a monster that only took other people and left my family alone. They say all panic has an origin story, and mine began shortly after that realization, fueled by a disconnected phone cord...

Keep Reading

The Apology You Deserve May Never Come

In: Living
Woman standing in field wearing hat

“You have to accept that you will likely never get the apology you deserve.” When my therapist said those words, I felt everything at once-anger, resentment, heartbreak. It was as if the air had been pulled straight from my lungs. Because accepting that truth meant letting go of something I had been holding onto for a long time: the hope that one day, it would all be acknowledged. My family was deeply wronged. Not in a way that can be brushed off or easily forgotten, but in a way that cut to the core. There were lies wrapped in deception,...

Keep Reading