The Sweetest Mother's Day Gift!

Dear Child of Divorce, It’s Not Your Fault

4 Minute Read

By Jordan Morgan

Two kids walking in field — Ruslan Shugushev/Shutterstock.com

It’s not your fault. None of it is. You are not to blame in any of this. How could you be? You are young and innocent and oh, so brave for traveling the road before you.

You will learn lessons many don’t learn until well into their adult years.

You will probably also have to fight many battles a child should never have to face.

I just want you to remember—none of it is your fault.

Some people just aren’t meant to be together, and in your case, that’s your parents. I know it’s hard.

God hears the prayers of a child, so seek Him. But do not be discouraged if He doesn’t grant you the desire in your heart and the wish for your parents to get back together. You don’t know it now, but He is in control. I promise, sometimes this is for the better.

I’m sorry you are a witness to arguments. More than you should be as a child. You may feel the weight of them on your shoulders, but they are not your fault.

I’m sorry you feel the need to take sides in a situation that is much greater and more complex than you can understand right now. One day you will get the chance to see all angles, and I hope you have the grace to extend forgiveness to your parents and to who you were back then.

It’s OK to be scared. It’s OK to not understand right now. Your parents probably don’t comprehend everything either.

It’s not your fault you feel caught up in a whirlwind. It’s not fair you don’t have the ability to recognize the fear and anxiety inside of you.

I’m sorry you have to grow up faster than your friends.

It’s not your fault you must pack a suitcase often and rotate clothes between houses so your friends don’t notice you wearing the same five outfits to school every other week.

It’s not your fault people may seem to pity you. Do not let their feelings make you feel sorry for yourself. You are strong and capable, and you can handle this. It may seem overwhelming now, but one day you will see the immense strength you carried through your childhood.

It’s not your fault you must find a way to balance other adult’s feelings on top of the load you already carry for yourself.

It’s not your fault if you have to ask for help. It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to reach out. I hope you have someone in your corner.

I’m sorry you feel left out when you visit friend’s houses who don’t have divorced parents. I’m sorry this makes you feel inadequate. Please know you aren’t less than.

The anger you witness is not your fault.

The sadness that sometimes engulfs you is not your fault.

The worry that churns in your stomach is not your fault.

The fear that takes residence in your body is not your fault.

These are big feelings for a tiny person, and I’m sorry they’re on your plate.

You will grow and learn, and one day you will look back and see all the ways you had to mature faster than you should have. You will see your strength. You will see the love. You will find a place of forgiveness in your heart for all of your memories once deemed unfair and tragic.

Your parents still love you even if they don’t love each other anymore. Don’t ever forget that.

Dear child, things are hard for both you and your parents. They are trying to make choices that are best for themselves and for you, and I am sorry you are being pulled into the mix.

It’s not your fault. None of it is.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

child of divorce Divorce divorced parents end of a marriage Kids marriage Motherhood split home

Jordan Morgan

Wife & mama just winging this whole thing one day at a time. I have a love for words, travel, the South, family, Jesus, yoga, and a relaxing swing on the front porch. I try to find humor in all things and keep motherhood real – the good and the bad. My goal is to help women on the motherhood journey feel less alone. You can find me over on my blog at www.jordanmorgan.com on Facebook @jordanmorganwriter or on instagram @mamayogatn

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

In: Kids

Sometimes foster care looks like bringing a child from a hard place into your home. Sometimes it looks like sitting at a ball field with a former foster love’s mom and being her village. He’s the one who has brought me to my knees more times than my own children. He’s the one I lie awake at night thinking about. He’s the one I beg the father to protect. He’s the one who makes me want to get in the trenches over and over again. It’s our Bubba. So much of the story is not mine to tell, but the...

Keep Reading

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

In: Kids

When we decided to give our preschooler another year before kindergarten, I thought the hardest part would be explaining it to other people. I was wrong. The hardest part was the afternoon her teacher asked to talk. In that split second in the pick-up line, my heart sank. I assumed the worst. I braced myself for a conversation about behavior, about something we had somehow missed, about whether her strong personality was causing problems. Instead, it became the moment that confirmed what we already knew. We were not holding her back. We were giving her time. Our daughter is bright....

Keep Reading

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

In: Kids

My life changed on that beautiful autumn day. The thing is, nothing really happened. Not really. My life kind of went on as usual. A fly on the wall might even say it was a great day. I brought my 3-year-old son to an animal farm for a Halloween event. He was quirky as usual and a bit ornery that day. Aloof. “Come feed the baby animals,” I pleaded. No, thank you. Crowds of excited children? Absolutely not. Buckets of candy? You can keep them. My heart ached watching my beautiful, blonde-haired boy wander into a field alone, away from...

Keep Reading

Enjoy the Ride, Kid

In: Kids

Two people running up from the water at the beach

Last night I watched an episode of Shrinking. If you haven’t jumped into the series yet, it’s one of those that hits the heart hard- at least for me. The episode centered on the birth of a baby, while one of the characters grappled with the closing years of life. Spoiler alert: as the elder of the group cradled this new life in his arms, bridging generations across the hospital room, the moment of realization of how fast life goes hit like a ton of bricks. “Enjoy the ride, kid.” The final words of this episode are sitting with me,...

Keep Reading

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

In: Kids, Motherhood

With four kids at three different schools, our days are full. Between sports practices, music lessons, clubs, rehearsals, games, meets, and playdates, it feels like we’re constantly heading somewhere. I love that my children are involved in activities, but occasionally, it’s nice to have some downtime. When I get a text or email that a practice has been canceled, it’s usually a huge relief. Last week, after-school sports were cancelled due to heavy rain. When I picked up my youngest son from school, I told him we’d be going straight home for the rest of the afternoon. He looked surprised....

Keep Reading

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

In: Kids, Motherhood

I have a confession: Yesterday I let my 11-year-old play with fire. Like literally. We live in the country, there is still wet snow on the ground, and he’s done it with his dad at least 20 times. But yesterday was the fifth consecutive day of no school, and probably the twentieth consecutive day of him asking to have a small fire without dad. Part of me did it out of laziness. Part of me did it out of selfishness. And part of me did it out of nostalgia. Here’s the thing—when I was 11, I was already babysitting (like...

Keep Reading

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

In: Kids

Big brother and little sister smiling at each other

He doesn’t remember the day she came home.But she has never known a world without him. From the beginning, he was there first. The first to reach for her hand. The first to explain the rules. The first to decide what was fair and what absolutely was not. He didn’t know he was being assigned a role. He just stepped into it. Big brother. She followed him everywhere. Into rooms she technically wasn’t invited into. Into games she didn’t fully understand. Into stories she insisted on hearing again and again. She wanted to do what he did, say what he...

Keep Reading

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

In: Kids

I was in the middle of the post-holiday clean-up chaos when something hit me. My oldest daughter is seven, and while it feels like an age that doesn’t get talked about much, it really is turning out to be such a sweet spot. It hit me as we were redesigning her room. A change that occurred when she broke my mama-heart a few weeks prior by saying she didn’t think she wanted a princess room anymore. While everything in me wanted to try to convince her to keep it, stay small and sweet just a little longer, I knew I...

Keep Reading

So God Made a Gymnast

In: Kids

God made a gymnast with fearless grace, strength in her heart, and a fire in her spirit. He molded her courage, steady and true, and quietly whispered, “We believe in you.” He taught her balance when life feels chaotic and messy, to leap into her faith and stick each landing just right. When she stumbles, He is always right there to help her rise back up with faith in her soul and a spark in her eyes. Each floor routine with the grace of a swan; each move is a dream, all built on dedication and grit. God made her...

Keep Reading

Mothers Grieve a Million Little Losses as Their Babies Grow Up

Motherhood

Mothers Grieve a Million Little Losses as Their Babies Grow Up

Learning to See the Unseen in Our Marriage Has Made All the Difference

Faith

Dear Child of Divorce, It’s Not Your Fault

I just want you to remember—none of it is your fault.

It’s OK to be scared. It’s OK to not understand right now. Your parents probably don’t comprehend everything either.

These are big feelings for a tiny person, and I’m sorry they’re on your plate.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Jordan Morgan

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

Enjoy the Ride, Kid

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

So God Made a Gymnast

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Dear Child of Divorce, It’s Not Your Fault

I just want you to remember—none of it is your fault.

It’s OK to be scared. It’s OK to not understand right now. Your parents probably don’t comprehend everything either.

These are big feelings for a tiny person, and I’m sorry they’re on your plate.

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

Foster Care Kids Are Worth Fighting for

We Aren’t Holding Her Back—We’re Giving Her More Time

A Life Lived Differently Is Not a Life Less Lived

Enjoy the Ride, Kid

Mommy, Will You Play With Me?

Could We Take a Page from the ’80s and Stop Overparenting?

A Big Brother Is His Little Sister’s First Friend

7 Is the Bridge Between Little and Big Kid

So God Made a Gymnast

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like