By Krystal Sieben 
Most of the friends I have, I’ve had for over 20 years. Many of the friends I have, I’ve had for even longer—30, even 40, years. Something I hear a lot is “You’re so lucky!” I am, I really am, but having and keeping special friendships is so much more than luck.
I read an article recently from a hospice worker who claimed prioritizing relationships was one of the most poignant aspects of life at the end. Either gratitude for who we were to others—a great mom, a kind friend—or regrets for letting life get in the way. Life does get in the way.
Here’s the thing, being an okay friend is easy. You keep it surface; maybe even bond over some juicy gossip or a person in common you don’t like; you’re loyal . . . to a point—keep it simple. There are other things to do: kids, work, errands, a marriage.
Being a good friend is harder. You show up, in the messy and the hard. You listen when sometimes you don’t want to. You have the hard conversations. You keep the things to yourself when someone trusts you with something exciting like a pregnancy or something they don’t want to admit, like marriage problems. You say no to the Friday night Bunko game with the fun mom you know from the neighborhood because you know you only have so much time, and it’s just not the same as margarita night with your very best friend.
You aren’t always in lockstep, but you give grace even when you feel your old friend slipping away. When they come back, you don’t hold it against them. You value the friendship enough to stick up for them when they aren’t there, and you make a big deal out of their birthday. You send them a text when you hear that old song. Or a meme on Instagram depicting 80s youth. You let them see you ugly cry when your pet dies, you don’t get the job, or it’s a bad time in your marriage.
Having lifelong friendships isn’t luck—not at all. It’s prioritizing the same people again and again. It’s letting go of those who don’t prioritize you, and by doing that, you’re making more space for the core few that matter. Okay friendships are easy. And they have a place. I’m thankful I prioritize the good ones.
by Brianna Baranowski 
by Jenny Albers 
by Amy Weatherly 
