It’s been many years since my husband bought me flowers. The last gift he bought me was a purse I picked out and placed in the cart “just in case” he wanted to get something. He wrote me a note on a grocery list for my birthday this year. It’s not just me; he often doesn’t remember to buy his mom a card or when our children’s birthdays arrive. Remembering is not his strong point; I’ve come to expect it.
No, my guy doesn’t show his love in gifts but instead shows his love for our family in faithfulness. He goes to work without complaining when it is still dark, often returning after sunset. He keeps our yard cut and changes the oil in our cars. He uses his hands to improve our home. Every hammer swing and each paint stroke makes it more functional and beautiful as he remodels our home.
He willingly cooks dinner when I am not able to stand for long. He demonstrates his love by clearing the table, loading the dishwasher, and cleaning the kitchen. His concern shines through when he stops and offers me a hand as we navigate the stairs together. He doesn’t complain when I take up three-quarters of the bed trying to get comfortable on a rough night.
The ways we show love to each other have changed as we have aged. The passionate surprises of young love have given way to a comfortable, contented forever love. This love is the one you see when people have been married for a long time, thoroughly knowing each other. We walk hand in hand, not needing words but understanding exactly what the other person thinks.
The internet world has a lot of ideas about what love looks like. Expectations are placed on each spouse of what should happen in a good marriage. Advice is freely shared on how to keep your relationship spicy. Marriage is discussed like a business proposal—he does his part, and I do mine. It is easy to become disillusioned when our relationship doesn’t look like others. It’s hard to be content when he doesn’t meet all the checkmarks of the perfect man. We waste time trying to change him or harboring bitterness for who he is not.
Take it from me: Find your husband’s strengths. Recognize the quiet places he is faithful and realize he is pouring out his love toward you as he serves your family. Be grateful for a steady hand, a quiet word, and time sitting together on the porch. Love doesn’t have to be new and exciting. There is a familiar comfort of really knowing one another. The steady love of a good man is worth more than any gift he could buy.
Lord, help me to remember that every swing of his hammer and every stroke of his paintbrush is an act of love to me. Thank you for sending me a good man.
by Whitney Fleming 
by Caitlin Fladager 
by Karen Johnson 
