So God Made a Mother Collection ➔

There was a time I brushed my teeth, hair sprayed my hair and lipsticked my lips if I even thought I might run into this guy on the way to class.

I never wanted him to see me at anything less than my absolute, albeit big haired, best.

And now here we are . . . bringing sexy back with our his and her CPAP machines.
This is what love actually looks like friends.

Not like the girl who did herself up as cute as possible for each pass by the night host stand and who picked out her outfit so carefully for that first date (and spilled an entire Coke down the front of her cream body suit in the darkness of the movie theatre and almost died of embarrassment).

Not like the boy who put his best foot forward with perfect manners, perfect curly hair and so much charm.

Not like both of us making sure all appearances were perfect and all flaws hidden.
Instead it looks like suffering through long, long, loud nights of your partner snoring.

And snoring. And snoring.

And mornings where your wife is a giant pile of smeared mascara and grouchy attitude because once again insomnia claimed her nighttime hours.

And then laughing your heads off when we end up with CPAP machines and yet you just can’t wait to jump into bed together. To try these things out and finally both get a good sleep.

This is what love looks like.
And I think it looks better than ever.

This article was originally published on Hiding in the Closet with Coffee by Amy Betters-Midtvedt

 

You may also like: 

To My Husband, Having Kids Together Has Only Made Me Love You More

Dear Husband, When We Find Each Other Again

Dear Husband, I’m Not the Same Girl You Married

Want more stories of love, family, and faith from the heart of every home, delivered straight to you? Sign up here!

 

Amy Betters-Midtvedt

Amy Betters-Midtvedt is a writer, educator, mom of 5 crazy kids, wife to a patient husband, and lover of Jesus. She writes along with her friend and former teaching partner Erin over at Hiding in the Closet With Coffee. Our mission is to help parents find sanity and joy, and we know sometimes joy is found hiding out in the closet with coffee, or hiding out on Facebook — come and join us both! You can read more about us here. You can also find us hiding out over at InstagramPinterest, and Twitter.

Dear Husband, I Don’t Want To Fight

In: Marriage
Husband and wife facing away from each other on bed

Dear husband, It seems like every month, we are embroiled in the same “discussion,” which inevitably turns into an argument, and if we go down the well-worn path, eventually becomes an ear-splitting match.  Talking over each other’s voices, we battle it out in an attempt to be heard. The more we try to explain ourselves to each other, the farther apart we push each other. Still, we persist. We want so badly for each of us to try to understand where the other is coming from, but we can’t seem to do it at this moment. You think, If only...

Keep Reading

The Conversation We’re Forgetting To Have About Birth

In: Baby, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman having a baby man holding her hand

My husband lay sleeping, his head resting on a fluffy, down-stuffed pillow in our hotel room. His bag was packed neatly, ESPN was playing quietly in the background, and he had unopened snacks at his disposal on the end table. Our hotel phone rang, and my husband groggily answered, ”Yes? Oh, sorry. Yeah, we’ll keep it down. Sorry.” He hung up and found me miserable and shaky in the shower, the thin shower curtain clinging to my legs.  “Steph, we got a noise complaint. You have to keep it down!” he whispered. This is not how I expected labor to...

Keep Reading

Is Our Love Enough To Withstand the Devastation of Addiction?

In: Marriage
Couple walking hand in hand black and white photo

I lie awake at night listening to my husband’s breathing. He is clearly asleep. I, on the other hand, am wide awake feeling sad and alone. Where did we go wrong? How did we end up here? I look back fondly on those early days when we were madly in love. We couldn’t get enough of each other. It was like there was a magnet pulling us toward each other, insisting that our bodies connect. A caress under the table, a hand on the small of my back, there was always some part of us touching. I felt loved and wanted....

Keep Reading

My Husband Makes Me a Stronger Woman

In: Grief, Loss, Marriage
Daddy standing over hospital crib with infant, black-and-white photo

A little over a year ago, my husband and I went through the unimaginable. We lost our child, Lillian, to a congenital heart defect. The days following that, and even to this day, people will comment on how strong I am. How well I’ve dealt with this darkness. How they can’t imagine what I am going through. The truth is I was never alone. From the day we found out I would give birth to a child who had complex heart defects, my husband has been there. Always in the background of what others saw but ever so present in...

Keep Reading

I’m Mostly a Mom Right Now and Sometimes I Forget How to Be a Wife

In: Marriage, Motherhood

Sometimes it’s easy to take you for granted. Sometimes it’s easy to put my focus on other people, things to get done, places to go. Sometimes it’s easy to assume that you’ll always be there. But sometimes I need to make you a priority. I need to thank you for your hard work, your dedication to me and the kids, your selflessness. I need to ask how your day was, take an investment in your interests, and be more considerate of your needs. The hustle and bustle of everyday life gets in the way and is an easy excuse. Honestly,...

Keep Reading

Dear Husband, Where Did You Go? Where Did We Go?

In: Marriage

When did it all change for you?  When did you stop looking at me that way? You know, the look. The look you gave me when you wanted me. Truly wanted me. I could feel the desire for me down deep in my bones.  When did your smile fade? Actually, I think it has disappeared completely. It used to be so big it took up your entire face. Where did it go?  I remember being unable to keep our hands off of each other. There was a force pulling my skin to yours. It was magnetic. Do you remember that?...

Keep Reading

This Is the Phase of Marriage No One Tells You About

In: Marriage, Motherhood

Before getting married, I remember being inundated with advice. Don’t go to bed angry. Make time for date nights. Cling to your vows. Follow Jesus above all else. I took this as a “heads up” of all the trials and struggles my husband and I would face in our marriage. And while no one enters their marriage thinking it’s going to be full of problems, I understood it was a reality of marriage—a phase that we would go through and tackle together. The wedding also brought on a lot of words of encouragement and excitement. You get to grow old...

Keep Reading

Hardships Can’t Tame My Farmer’s Love For the Land

In: Living, Marriage

Like many young girls in the early 90s, I was obsessed with the Little House on the Prairie books. I collected the books, read them over and over, and even begged my family to visit Laura Ingalls’ house in DeSmet, South Dakota, on a family vacation when we drove across the Midwest.  Back then, I related more to Laura, her parents, and her sisters. As an 8-year-old, I wasn’t thinking about marriage—so the later books when she was married didn’t stick out as much to me. I pictured myself in place of Laura since we were about the same age....

Keep Reading

I Never Knew It Could Be So Hard To Have Sex With My Husband

In: Faith, Marriage

I was brought up in a Christian home and church where sex was never discussed. The only thing I knew was that I was supposed to wait for marriage. Sex was always taboo. Something shameful to hide away and never even be mentioned outside of telling kids to wait for their wedding night.  Now here I am, married for nine years with three kids, and I still feel uncomfortable with sex. I still feel like it’s wrong. I still feel unsure and uncomfortable with the whole thing. But that isn’t what God intended for us. Sex wasn’t meant to be...

Keep Reading

The Secret To 50 Years of Marriage is To Dance Together

In: Marriage
Husband and wife dancing at wedding, old color photo

A reader of a Her View From Home post recently commented that she loves reading stories of people who have been married a long time. I smiled in agreement, and then just as quickly realized that my husband and I somehow, unbelievably, are now in that “married a long time” category. In 1997, when we had been married 25 years, my coworkers were in awe of the accomplishment. “How in the world did you do it?” they asked incredulously. I just smiled and said, “One day at a time.” And now, in our 50th year of marriage, I’m the incredulous...

Keep Reading

 5 Secrets to Connect with Your Kids

FREE EMAIL BONUS

Proven techniques to build REAL connections