He always pushes the grocery cart.

And when we get back to the truck, he always unlocks the doors immediately so that I can get in, and then proceeds to unload the groceries, while I’m sat in the truck with the seat warmers on. Rain or shine—every time—this is our grocery game plan.

Can I let you all in on a little secret?

It’s taken me many years to appreciate being loved like this.

You see, I spent (i.e., wasted) a lot of time looking for all the ways in which love is shown in the movies, in the magazines, and on the commercials.

Flowers.
Chocolates.
Romantic meals.
Surprise getaways.

And guess what?

I was disappointed time and time and time again.

All because I was looking for the ways that I was being told he should show his love. 

Instead of paying attention to how he actually does show his love.

And when I eventually came to that realization, friends?

That was the relationship game-changer.

For he rarely buys flowers, but he calls me every day when he gets off of work, to see if I need anything picked up.

He never thinks of buying chocolate, but whenever he sees anything that resembles a slice of plant-based, organic goodness, he always buys it for me and is always so proud to surprise me with his latest grocery store find.

He can only boil eggs and butter bread, so while I have never walked into a dining room with candles flickering and plates of gourmet goodness laid out, he wakes up every Sunday morning, puts on coffee, pours up my favorite mug, and passes it to me while I’m cozied up on the living room couch (and if my mug is in yesterday’s dirty dishes, he’ll always wash it out. Bless him).

And while he cannot put together a travel itinerary to save his soul, he has sat in a theatre on Broadway with me to watch a musical. He has walked through Ernest Hemingway’s home with me. He has been through more museums and libraries in a lifetime than he cares to admit. And he has never complained about any of it. Not even once.

And it’s more than that. So much more than that.

He’s gotten up in the middle of the night with a crying baby. If his restaurant order is better than mine, he’ll always switch plates. He watches Sleepless in Seattle when he would rather be watching Jason Bourne (at least I think that’s his name). He knows my favorite “lady products” and will run to the pharmacy to grab them for me whenever needed (if that isn’t love, I don’t know what is).

And, he will always, always push the grocery cart.

You know, the more I think of it,

The flowers, the chocolates, the romantic meals, and the surprise getaways?

That’s all just momentary anyway.

The flowers die. The chocolate and meals get devoured. And the surprise getaways happen, and then they’re over.

But it’s in the moments that you can depend on (over and over and over again), well, that’s where the love is found.

The good love.

The always love.

Like your “coziest blanket on a fall day” love.

And it’s THAT kind of love I want to walk through this life feeling.

Don’t search for the flowers, Ladies. Nor waste your time in want of the chocolates.

Search for the one who will push your grocery cart.

For that’s where the always kind of love is. 

Originally published on Love Always, Heather