A Gift for Mom! 🤍

When my husband brought up the idea of moving back to my hometown nearly eight years ago, I didn’t want to move. While having my parents help with our growing family was going to be a huge blessing, and the prospect of a new career was on the horizon for my husband, I had just begun to build a small network of friends where we were, and the thought of leaving that community was gut-wrenching.

Fast-forward to today: the community we have built here now surpasses what we had before ten-fold. On any given day I know I can call a friend to grab coffee or even watch my toddler if I need it. My older kids are thriving in school with classmates they love, and my husbandwho is not as social as I ameven gets caught in conversations after church or invited out for the occasional beer.

I go to a bi-monthly small group with women in my stage of life where we encourage each other to thrive in the chaos of life with small humans. I have even found my volunteering niche: I plan and organize large-group events at our church that bring hundreds of people together. My passion, I have found, is building community and connecting people, and over the last half-decade, my husband and I have built a beautiful community for our family here.

However, we recently realized that it may be time to move our family elsewhere, for mostly financial reasons. This was always in the back of our minds, and we have been talking about the possibility for years because this area is very expensive and only getting worse. When we moved here, we saw this area as more of a stepping-stone for my husband’s career, not a permanent home. But life happens between the best laid plans, and here we are eight years later with four kids, two cats, and a community I don’t know what I would do without.

So, I once again have that gut-wrenching feeling of loss. I’m realizing that if this truly is what is best for our family, then I can’t hold us back. Yet, I am already mourning the vibrant community we have here and wondering how we could ever have something like this elsewhere.

How could I find a friend who, even while pregnant with twins, will drop what she is doing to pick up my daughter from preschool (because I forgot), with absolutely no judgment? Who will I go out for a beer with on a Monday night because we both just need a break from life and to vent about it? And then the scarier questions come: What if I don’t find anyone who shares our family’s beliefs and values? What if other moms find me overbearing or annoying? What if my kids don’t make new friends and hate me for it?

New beginnings are scary. Motherhood can be lonely, and it never seems like we have enough time for anything, especially meeting new friends. Yet, if there is one thing I have learned in the last eight years, it is that you don’t just fall into a community . . . you must build it. Building something takes time, but it is worth it because everyone needs community (especially moms!).

Some days–and even some years–will be harder and lonelier than others. You won’t make an instant connection with most people. You will have to build that connection over play dates and pick-ups and coffee and hopefully, a little wine. It will take overcoming the fear of rejection. It will take being vulnerable. It will take persistence and patience. And most of all, it will take believing in your worthbecause you are worthy of community.

So, as our family prepares to move on to our next stage in life, I guess it’s time to take my own advice: It takes a village to raise little humans, so go build one.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Maggie O'Donnell

Maggie is a stay-at-home mom of four awesome kiddos. When she is not chasing after her toddler, she enjoys putting on community-building events at her church, baking, and learning Disney history.

I Don’t Want a “Forever Home,” Just a Movable Village

In: Living
I Don't Want a "Forever Home," Just a Movable Village

Almost exactly two-and-a-half years ago, we happened to buy our first house at the same time as a close friend. We liked the house and were excited to move out of a rental home which had become frustrating in its age and its nosy neighbors. I discussed our simultaneous moves with the friend while our two sets of twins made a wreck of our current play area. “Well,” she said, eyes shining, looking at me earnestly, “you know how exciting it is when you find your forever home!!” I used my fourth-grade lessons on context clues to figure out what a...

Keep Reading

It’s Hard to Make Mom Friends; Try Anyway

In: Friendship, Living, Motherhood
Two women friends talking in front of sunset

Growing up, it was extremely difficult for me to make friends. I wasn’t smart enough for the smart kids, athletic enough for the athletic kids, talented enough for the talented kids, cool enough for the cool kids, or pretty enough for the pretty kids. I never exactly fit anywhere. I was able to make a few close friends, most of whom are still acquaintances 20-something years later, but after falling prey to some mean girls who I naively trusted in early high school, I was never really able to allow myself to open up and be me, especially around girls....

Keep Reading

Home is Where You Make it—Even Without Family Nearby

In: Living
Family silhouette

It wasn’t a decision that was made lightly. I didn’t think it would be forever, maybe just temporary. Freshly married, off we went into the unknown, leaving behind our families and the town we grew up in, where we had always called home. It wasn’t easy, but we did it. That doesn’t mean I don’t miss the place I grew up. That doesn’t mean everything is super easy without any family around to help out. That doesn’t mean my heart doesn’t ache for my kids who can’t just take a 5-minute drive to their grandparent’s house like I did growing...

Keep Reading