If I could have known what was to come when you were little, I would have written this then. But here we are. You are 22,19, and 16. They say the terrible twos are a hard age? Ha! That’s nothing compared with the adults (or near adult) who are looking at me now! Here’s what I would have said then, and what I still vow to you now, more than ever:
First, what I can’t promise. I can’t promise it will be easy or that I won’t make mistakes. It won’t, and I will. I can’t promise you everything you want or things beyond who I am. I can’t teach you to surf or take you on safari or go whitewater rafting. I hope what I can do is help you to be braver than I am, and more confident than I am (you all already are these things) so if travel and whitewater rafting are things you want to do, you will!
I promise I will listen, discuss, keep an open mind, and continue trying to grow into the parent you need. I still feel very uncertain in my own journey, but I will keep trying. I will seek deeper understanding, remain committed to you, never give up, be your number one fan, and root for your happiness. In my desire for you to be the best version of yourself, I may overstep, overreact, push too hard, or ask too much. When I hurt you, I will say, “I’m sorry.” I will keep trying to do better every day. Remember, I’m still trying to be my own best version of myself.
I will always show up. I will share my values, but only as an example of how to develop your own. I will be honest with you so you can be honest with yourself and others. I will show you my truth, even when it’s ugly, because you can’t live in a world without facing the truth. I will seek to understand your truth too. Don’t shut me out when I don’t understand. Keep talking. One day, I will find myself expressing your words as my thoughts. Because they will be! And believe me, you will hear my voice and words come out of your own mouth too, and it will catch you by surprise.
We’re in a new place in our relationship. I can learn from your views and forward thinking; you can learn from my past and the wisdom of age.
I will never stop trying to catch up to you or to catch you if you fall. Please don’t leave me behind with your childhood. We have many more roads to travel together.
by Carla Burgess 
by Her View From Home 
