Saying Goodbye to My Only Child...

A Gift for Mom! 🤍

Two and a half years. Just thirty months. That’s all of the time I had with my first born before I lost her…

To baby #2.

Okay, so I’m being dramatic. But I’m in my 40^th week of pregnancy with my second baby, waddling, sweaty, and hormonal—this is normal right?

Sitting on the brink of this life change, I can’t help but ooze nostalgia over every last milestone with my firstborn. I linger with each bedtime and give in to every request for just one more story. I relish her little hand in mine, before it’s occupied by a car seat or diaper bag. Last Saturday, I soaked up potentially our last lazy morning of the three of us, all snuggled up watching cartoons.

As I watch her splash in the baby pool, chasing bubbles, or reciting “Righty! Lefty! Righty! Lefty!” as she buoyantly climbs our front steps {a side effect of having a physical therapist for a mom}, I find myself asking, “How can any kid match her?” How will I love her AND another baby, without depriving one of them?

I know, she’s not being shipped off to Siberia. In my heart of hearts, I know that I’m being silly and I’m not at all done being her mama—there are many more bedtimes and lazy Saturdays ahead of us. And I know I’ll be instantly smitten with this sweet babe in my belly, just as I was the first time.

It just seems so hard to imagine.

We don’t know the gender of our newest little one, and without a doubt, we are excited to meet this kiddo. We are excited to relive the newborn coohing and naps on our chest, excited to watch our girl become a big sister. So why am I simultaneously washed in sadness as I relish these last few days as a family of three?

It’s because the last two and half years have just been the greatest blessing. Becoming a parent and learning to love another life so severely, alongside your spouse, has just been the most amazing experience. It has bonded my husband and I in a way I never imagined. And we have cherished every minute of this learning experience, as we have navigated and problem-solved sleep training and gas, baby proofing and tantrums. We have celebrated every poop and cooh and milestone along the way. The three of us have traveled this journey together and we’re all so crazy about one another, it just feels like our own secret little club. Is it terrible to confess it feels a little…risky…to take in a new member? What if they mess up our whole vibe??

(Please don’t ever read this, baby #2)

I know that great things are in store for our family—that my heart will again explode in love and I won’t be able to imagine life without this child. But for now, all that I want to do is soak up these precious days with my firstborn, while my heart is all and only hers.

Sweet girl, thank you for teaching me how to love beyond what I ever knew I was capable of. Thank you for being my guinea pig, letting me experiment and fail and learn about what it takes to be a mom—how to love, how to accept, how to discipline, how to forgive. I have relished every second of being your mama and I will never forget our first years together when you were my one and only.

So God Made a Grandmother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Order Now!

Kathryn Grassmeyer

Kathryn is a southern transplant, working and living in Northern Virginia with her husband Tyler and daughter Charlotte. She is soaking up life as a family of three before baby #2 arrives this summer. When she’s not blowing noses or failing at potty training, she works as a pediatric physical therapist. Blog: http://www.barefootdaydreams.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/BarefootDaydreamsBlog Twitter: https://twitter.com/kategrassmeyer

Ask For the Playdate

In: Kids

When my only child was finishing up his first year of preschool a few years ago, I knew he would miss having friends to play with regularly over the summer. One day at pickup, he invited a friend from his class to come to our house. His friend seemed interested. Her mom and I agreed it would be nice to have a playdate, but never really made plans as we were getting the kids to the car. I am not an outgoing person, and I always prefer someone else to ask me to do something, rather than being the one...

Keep Reading

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

In: Kids

Young girl reading picture book on mother's lap

The other day, my daughter said no. Not quietly. Not hesitantly.Just a simple, confident “no.” And for a moment, I saw it happen. That instinct so many of us were taught to ignore. That pause where girls start to second-guess themselves. But she didn’t shrink. And I realized…I’m not raising her the way I was raised. I was raised to be polite.To be agreeable.To not make things uncomfortable. And while those things sound harmless on the surface, they come with an unspoken lesson. One that a lot of us learned early, without even realizing it. Be easy.Be likable.Be quiet if...

Keep Reading

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

In: Kids

This is for the moms who go above and beyond for their children, the “magic makers” and “childhood savers.” While moms are always giving boundless love and doing selfless acts for their kids, “extra” moms make motherhood sparkle. You constantly prioritize your child’s well-being and happiness—it is your number one focus. You are out there creating unforgettable moments that shape your family’s lives. You make birthdays unforgettable, complete with themes, elaborate food, and decorations, and lots of thought and loving time behind each to make every year as special as the last. You make each holiday a wonderland to behold...

Keep Reading

Ellis and the Puffers

In: Kids

Little boy holding dandelion puff flowers

Ellis is a dreamer, loves stories of every kind, library books, Star Wars, and all things magical. He especially loves stories from when his mom was little, and prefers that they be shared in her lap. One of his favorite stories from when his mom was a child is the one about puffers—dandelions that bring wishes, and the special square in the backyard that Grandpa left unmowed every year so Ellis’s mom and her big sister and two big brothers could always have access to their wish makers. Ellis made a point of gathering puffers every day on their walk...

Keep Reading

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

In: Kids

Child with wide smile and arms out behind her

Some kids don’t just say “no.” They mean it. They resist direction. They question instructions. They want to do things their own way, even when it would be easier to follow along. These children are often labeled as stubborn. But what if that behavior is not the problem? What if it is the beginning of something important? Strong-willed children are not trying to be difficult. They are trying to make sense of the world in their own way. They want to understand why something matters before they commit to it. When they are told what to do without explanation, they...

Keep Reading

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

In: Kids

Yesterday I went to urgent care. I had a sore throat, and my doctor had no openings. It was super disappointing because I actually had plans in the morning to see my grandson, and in the evening to go out of town for my sister’s birthday party. It was the rare occasion that everything was already set up. After my insanely long bout of pneumonia and being tethered to my nebulizer for so long, I was looking forward to it with enthusiasm. Of course, par for the course, life had other plans. Instead of being just a 24-hour nuisance, it...

Keep Reading

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

In: Kids

Imagine a theoretical college course designed for parents called Proper Family Mealtimes. The class focuses on the core ingredients required to have a truly connected meal: dinner etiquette, polite conversation, menu planning, and hosting. Backed by scientific research, parents will gain knowledge of simple yet practical steps to make mealtime meaningful again. My family would fail this course. When it comes to etiquette, shirts and formal seating are optional. My children pass on polite conversation, swapping in slang like “bruh” whenever possible. Our meal plan rotates between five kid favorites with the option to reject them all, at which point...

Keep Reading

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood

In most homes, the marks on the wall are a simple celebration of time passing. They are pencil lines that track how many inches a child has gained since their last birthday. But in our home, those marks represent a much deeper, more complex story. When your child lives with multiple hormone deficiencies, growth is never just “natural”—it is a carefully managed medical achievement. However, as any medical mom knows, the story doesn’t end at the top of the head. It begins deep inside, with a tiny gland that isn’t sending the right signals. Having multiple hormone deficiencies is often...

Keep Reading

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

In: Kids

Bedtime is when my kids tend to open up the most. The lights are low, the day is winding down, and their guard finally comes down with it. One night, my son told me he had been having a really hard time at school. Some boys had been so relentless that he left the cafeteria before finishing his breakfast, deciding it was better to go hungry than face more teasing. Because he’s such a kind boy with a big heart for others, seeing him face that kind of cruelty made my heart ache even more. It wasn’t the first time...

Keep Reading

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

In: Kids

These robotics kids are going to shape our future. I think this every time I watch an elementary, middle school, or high school competition. My thoughts go back many years to when my middle child, who was six at the time, went with my husband to the high school robotics shop. They were only stopping in briefly to pick up some engineering kits, but my child quickly became captivated by what the “big kids” were doing. He stood quietly watching until one student walked over and asked if he would like to see what they were working on. My son,...

Keep Reading

4 Things I said I'd Never Do...(Until Kids Came Along)

Kids

4 Things I said I'd Never Do...(Until Kids Came Along)

Bacon-Wrapped Pork Chops with Seasoned Butter

Kitchen

Saying Goodbye to My Only Child…

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Kathryn Grassmeyer

Ask For the Playdate

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

Ellis and the Puffers

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

Get It Now

So God Made a Mother

Saying Goodbye to My Only Child…

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A GRANDMA

Ask For the Playdate

My Daughter Said “No” and I Listened

A Letter To the “Extra” Moms

Ellis and the Puffers

Strong-Willed Kids Are Not a Problem, They Just Need a Different Approach

He Waited for Me By the Window and It Felt Like Love

Feeding Neurodiverse Kids is a College-Level Course

As a Medical Mom, I Measure Growth Differently

Helping My Son Through Bullying Is Healing Something In Me Too

Robotics Kids Are Building More than You Can See

Previous Post

Next Post

You May Also Like