By Lori Wildenberg 
“I hope she doesn’t break his heart.”
A mom in particular is naturally concerned about her son when he begins dating. She wants to protect him from any pain.
A dad tends to worry a little more about his daughter. He just want to protect her from…the boys!
We parents are better at having dating conversations with our girls. We seem to communicate red flags to our daughters more than to our sons.
Boys tend to be a little less aware of warning signs than girls. Perhaps this is because our sons are more concerned with making a good impression than discerning behavior.
So…for all of you with dating age boys, here’s a list of 12 Dating Red Flags to share with your son:
1. The Damsel in Distress. Appealing to a guy for sure. He can save, fix, and be the hero but…this gal plays the victim and doesn’t take responsibility for her own behavior.
2. Drama Queen. Her reactions are outrageous, over the top, explosive.
3. The Princess. This charmer needs to be constantly pampered, paid attention to, lavished with gifts, must have designer everything, and she treats service people with disdain.
4. The Jumper. A girl who bounces from one friendship or interest to the next.
5. The Patient. She is chronically ill (not really ill but pretends to be in order to manipulate another, justify behavior, or to get attention); something is physically wrong all the time!
6. The Debater. Needs to argue constantly. There is more negative conversation than positive.
7. Needy Nellie. In-love with love not…with you. Needs constant contact, validation, and attention. She may even be jealous of your guy friends.
8. The Re-bounder. If she just got out of a relationship she may not be ready for another.
9. The Bad Friend-er. She chooses friends you don’t like. Birds of a feather really do flock together.
10. The Shamer. Disrespects and embarrasses you both publicly and privately.
11. The Hater. She treats her parents and others (like those in the service industry) with contempt.
12. The Aggressor. She relentlessly chases down young men and uses her body to manipulate and get attention.
One more: If your family and friends don’t like your new girlfriend, investigate this further. These are the folks who have your best interest at heart.
Some of these 12 qualities could be isolated incidents but if you see a pattern with any of these, heads up and head out!
Let’s pray for our boys that they will be wise in their relationships. We are raising our sons to be men, husbands, and dads. And girls – don’t be this chick!
My son just got married so he is past the dating game. His bride is a blessing. She is my daughter-in-love! I am grateful to God for the wife he provided for my son. It warms my heart to watch her love him–and him love her. I’m excited to see what is in store for them and for their future. This is what my mama’s heart hoped for, for my son.
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
Proverbs 31:30
By Lori Wildenberg
Wife to Tom
Mom of 4
Co-founder of 1 Corinthians 13 Parenting
Co-author of three parenting books
Contact Lori to speak at your next event!
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