To the Mom Who Abandoned Her Newborn in a Graveyard

I can’t imagine what you were feeling that cold November morning. Probably scared. Probably in a panic. Probably wondering what to do. Probably not knowing who to turn to. But it breaks my heart to think that you thought you didn’t have any other options. It breaks my heart to think that you felt completely alone and distraught and so full of fear that you just didn’t know what to do. 

Did you not have anyone you could turn to for unconditional love or support? Did you hide this pregnancy from everyone you knew? What about your mom, dad, pastor, teacher, sister, aunt or grandma? Was there anyone that you trusted enough to love you through this? 

Did you not have anyone who would say “I love you no matter what?”  Or “I know this will be difficult, but we will do this together.”  No one to hug you or comfort you or talk to you about the importance of that beautiful life inside of you. 

Or maybe you did have someone to turn to, but in your mind, you perceived that they would reject you if they found out about your pregnancy. Maybe you thought you had to maintain a “perfect little girl” image. Maybe you thought that they would be so disappointed that they would never love you again. Maybe you thought that this mistake was too huge for anyone to get over. Maybe you had no one to remind you of God’s never-ending love for you, His grace, His mercy, His forgiveness. You must have been so afraid. I literally cry thinking of my daughter being in your shoes one day. I don’t ever want her to feel that she can’t come to me. I want her to know that without a doubt, I will love her, support her, and walk alongside her even in her darkest valleys. 

But I want you to know something. Through God, there is no darkness. And what the enemy intended for darkness and death, God brought light and life. You see, I’ve met your daughter. She is a grown woman now, and she is absolutely beautiful. Because your daughter – a new precious life just hours old with a special purpose in this world – was heard crying at the top of her lungs in that graveyard that morning where you left her. She was found wrapped in a blanket under a pile of leaves. She was brought to the hospital with frost bite on her ears and legs, and the frost bite on her legs was so severe that the doctors thought they were going to have to amputate them. But they didn’t. They were able to save her tiny little legs so she could dance one day. 

And dance she did. After recovering, she danced right into the hearts of a wonderful family where she was loved and cared for. When the teen years came, however, darkness came again. She began to wrestle with the fact that you left her – the one person that was supposed to love her the most left her. But she knew love by her adoptive parents and more importantly, she learned about God’s unconditional love, that no matter what, she was God’s daughter. She belongs to Him, and He had a very special purpose for her life. She found her light again. 

And shine she did. As a speaker, she shares her story all over the country. To other kids who have been abandoned, she can say “I’ve been there and look at what God did with my life. He can do the same with yours.”  She uplifts them and encourages them and brings light into their darkness. She brings them hope!

She passionately shares about Safe Haven laws—certain places in communities where you can drop off an infant with no questions asked. She worked with John Stamos on Project Cuddle—a 24-hour hotline supporting women who are hiding a pregnancy. She volunteered for Mixed Roots—an organization supporting adoption and foster care families. She received the Jefferson Award for citizens who go above and beyond in their community. She was even 1 of only 5 recipients of the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis award.

No matter your reason for abandoning her, God is using that little voice that cried out in the graveyard that cold morning as a very big voice crying out to help other moms in your shoes and other kids in hers.

She is a remarkable woman – a kind and giving human being. She is inspiring and courageous. You brought her into this world and the world says “Thank you.”  And guess what she has to say to you? “I forgive you, mom. I have no more hatred for you…only love and compassion.”

Wow. That’s God. That’s healing. That’s light.

To learn more about Skyler and her story, you can email her at:  [email protected]

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Articles by Christine Leeb

Christine Leeb

Christine “Coach” Leeb is a Child Development Specialist and Certified Parent Coach who helps parents “team up” with their kids—from toddlers to teens—to solve problems, build respect, and enjoy a calmer, more connected home. With 30 years of experience, she created the Team Up Toolkit, attachment-based tools that help parents stay calm, confident, and connected. Mother to three awesome (and exhausting) children from whom she shamefully hides brownies. Wife to one patient (and polar-opposite) husband (of 25 years) with whom she constantly quotes "Friends". She holds an MS in Psychology, a BS in Education, and is the author of Go Family and Learn As You Go. Team up with her for 1-on-1 coaching, resources, and encouragement at TeamUpParents.com.