Written by Alissa Kay

After about 6 weeks of being “officially” waiting our phone rang and it was the adoption agency!! Oh my goodness. Was this really happening? Could this be THE CALL? We learned a little bit about the expectant mom and found out that she wanted to meet us. Due to Thanksgiving being right around the corner and the mom’s daughter being sick, we didn’t meet until December. Baby Boy was due in January. A c-section was already scheduled for January 16th.

We met at Panera Bread with the mom and a social worker from our agency. My husband and I were both nervous as we were making that drive. We were anxious and excited as we walked in. We spotted them right away in a booth. We joined them and introduced ourselves. The mom asked us questions about us, our families, and thoughts on discipline etc. She told us about her daughters and she shared her struggles with us.

On the way home, we got another call. The mom wanted to meet with us again! So, we set up another meeting where we got to know each other better. And one week before Christmas, we learned that she really liked us and did not want to meet with other families. WOW!

By now, we had shared the big news with our families and dear friends. Since we were traveling back to see family for Christmas, our families did what any family would do when a new baby was set to arrive… they showered us with gifts. We were so blessed. This was one well-loved baby. When we returned home with a car full of baby gifts, we got busy painting the nursery, washing tiny baby clothes, writing thank you notes and waiting for our boy to arrive…

And then slowly our world began to crumble. The director from the agency called us. They haven’t been able to get a hold of the mom and had a feeling it wasn’t going to work out. We were back to waiting. A few days later, we learned mom had her baby boy and decided to parent him. She moved out of state where she had family support. While it was great for her, we were crushed. Our hearts were broken. I couldn’t even talk to my own mom. Pretty sure I just sent her an email to say we weren’t going to be parents after all and that I wasn’t ready to talk about it. I was in a fog for weeks. He never really was our baby, but that was still hard news to take. I felt like my dreams were shattered and I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to get over it.

We closed the nursery door unsure if we’d ever have a baby to fill it. It was heartbreaking at the time, but really it wasn’t. Looking back, it was perfect.

(Feature Photo Source)

Alissa Kay

Alissa was born and raised in the Midwest and currently calls Wisconsin home. She's happily married to her college sweetheart and she's living out her dreams of being a stay-at-home mom. Although, let's be real, she's hardly ever home. She's the mom to 3 kids who all came to her via adoption. A boy (8) and 2 girls (6 and almost 4!). The kids keep her plenty busy, but when she has free time she enjoys a night out with friends or curling up with a good book.