My daughter came to us from brokenness, but that is not how her story ends. She is adopted from foster care. She was made in love and adopted in love. Though the decisions of her biological parents ultimately cost them their parental rights, we know beyond a shadow of a doubt, they loved her and wanted her. We tell her that. We tell her they tried for her. We tell her how much she is loved with us.
She is not broken, she is loved and wanted, and in that, there is healing. Beauty from ashes.
My daughter came to us from trauma, but that is not how her story ends. My daughter is still dealing with issues related to her birth and beginning of life. We have been in therapy most of her life, and she has worked hard to overcome some of her obstacles. There are things she will probably always struggle with. But we will be right there walking beside her as she grows and learns.
She is not broken, she is a fighter and survivor, and in that, there is healing. Beauty from ashes.
My daughter came to us from uncertainty. We weren’t sure what her future was, whether with her biological parents or us. We were rooting for her biological parents—truly—we wanted them to make better choices and have a better life. Separation is traumatic, and we believed children belong with their biological parents when it’s safe and possible. We also knew we would adopt her in a heartbeat if reunification wasn’t going to be an option. It took two years. Two, long years of not knowing what her future held. But she is now a forever part of our family with a certain future.
She is not broken, she is forever loved and cherished, and in that, there is healing. Beauty from ashes.
Being a foster and adoptive parent is hard.
I loved and cared for my daughter as if I carried her in my body while for two years I knew she could go back to the one who did. Caring for a traumatized brain and body is not for the faint of heart. It’s blood, sweat, and a lot of tears. It’s hours of therapy, social worker visits, and doctor’s appointments. It’s knowing some things may always be hard and choosing to do them anyway.
Foster care and adoption is a messy, beautiful road. But I would do it again because the over 400,000 kids currently in foster care in this country are worth it all. They are precious children and worthy of love. No child should have to wonder if they’re broken or alone. They deserve beauty from ashes.
Author’s note: If you have questions or want to know how to get involved in foster care, please contact me at [email protected] or via Instagram at Life_with_lindsayv.