We launched a new design for the site last week. When I say we, I mean the fantastic web guys I’m lucky to have on my team. When I say launched, I mean attempted to transfer 4,000 articles written by women across the globe onto a new, shiny, beautifully designed online platform.
It didn’t work. And I cried.
I’ve cried a lot with this site; when I said goodbye to a very close business partner; when I almost called it quits last May; when we won a business plan competition to launch this business. Plenty of tears, good and scary have smacked me in the face.
I’m use to them by now. If you’re an overly emotional female, you too can relate to the ridiculous tears that fall out of your eyes at moments when they shouldn’t be falling.
Like sappy movies or kindergarten round-ups or that one time when that one lady at Target brought my cart back inside for me, or while watching the latest episode of the Bachelor. (Yes, that really happened.)
Those moments. The, “really, Leslie – why are you crying, get a grip!” moments.
I had one of those.
Our web guys were working really hard on the site design but the images weren’t cooperating. Some images decided not to transfer. What was supposed to take a couple of hours ending up taking the entire evening. Around 9:00 pm, I heard the news.
“Leslie, these images aren’t here.”
And I panicked. In a matter of 30 seconds I saw the past three years flash before me. Here’s how the scene played out in my mind.
“What do you mean the images aren’t there? So you’re saying three years’ worth of images to go with three years’ worth of articles are just gone? I’m done. I’m finished. All those late nights, early mornings, time away from my kids and family and work and friends and social life and the gym (that’s a lie, I never go to the gym) are now worthless. The naysayers, the ones who left, the ones who didn’t believe are all right! I should have listened. I couldn’t make this work. What was I thinking? I’m just a farm girl from Nebraska who dreams too much and talks too much and eats too many Cadbury eggs. Who am I to start a business and make it a success?
My hands hit my eyes, my body slouched and I started to sob. I shared the news with our writers. “Looks like the new site won’t be up today,” I mentioned. I explained my sadness and they came through. “It’s OK,” they said. “Go get some rest, we’ll send up a prayer.” “Don’t worry about it. Go drink wine instead!” “Hang in there, it will happen!” One by one these women, most of whom I’ve never met, sent me encouraging e-mails and prayers.
And then I heard a ding on my phone with a new e-mail that read:
“Hey, Leslie, the site has been reverted and everything should be back to normal.”
All of this happened within about three minutes of time. See what overly emotional women have to go through? I know. My husband is saint.
Just like that, I was better again and more thankful than ever for these group of supportive strangers, a web team who knows what they’re doing and a God above who loves me even though I often lack patience and faith.
Sometimes life smacks us in the face and we cry. It’s tricky like that. Does it do that to you, too? Some tears are sad. Others are just silly. And then there are the ones that come from lack of understanding and trust.
I’m learning, so often the answers to those tears are just moments away.