I sat across from her in my small, hard metal chair as she opened her gifts. 

While she tore the paper, unraveling each delicate ribbon bow, my mind began to wonder. 

Will I ever meet you?

Her fingers moved swiftly, and with each careful wrist movement, the diamond would sparkle brightly, like a sunbeam. The reflections danced against the floor tiles.  

When will it be my turn?

Passing the new set of silverware to the woman next to me, my thoughts rapidly began to flow.

Why am I the last to be engaged?

On and on my mind would flood itself with inquiries about my future husband, where he was, what he was doing, and honestly, I just hoped he existed. Period.  

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I was encompassed, hedged, surrounded (well, you get the point) by former brides. Each shared of their engagement bliss, wedding décor, or a vow renewal adventure. They all seemed to jump at the chance to speak recollections of that one special day. 

I just sat there. 


Posing to look as content and collected as possible. 

I have no idea of what meeting the one even entails.

Single gal, I understand the (sometimes) awkwardness of having a ringless finger. 

I have been met with numerous disappointed glances after the dreaded collection of questions such as . . . Do you have a boyfriend? Will you ever get married? Why do you not have children?

Or my absolute favorite . . . Are you even trying to find someone?

Instead of being complimented for your academic achievements, career promotions, or the recognition received for your volunteerism efforts, you are judged for your inability to provide a great forever romance story, a wedding day fiasco, or simply the deficiency of a he surprised me after work today scenario.

I know the frustration. 

Instead of fussing at you, making you feel inadequate, or just plain hurting your feelings, I will tell you that I am cheering for you. 

I am cheering for you as you get out of bed today.  

I am cheering for you as you go to class, pull in to work, or pursue your dreams. 

And I am cheering for you because you want to be the woman who God has called you to be. 

The reality is that you are single, not sorry.  

Your life has purpose. 

Friend, your bare ring finger should not bring heartache and shame.

Even in this season, you can reflect on how He is preparing you for what is ahead, with or without a husband.  

It is a chapter of a divine plan, which will lead to more chapters, whether married or unmarried. It is a testimony that even alone, you are faithful to His desires for you as they constantly unfold.

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Do not think of yourself alone though, because He is with you. 

The Bible says so. 

His love says so.

His presence says so. 

Do not let the absence of a ring be the ultimate say so.

Go forth living an abundant life believing you can achieve the best.

Go forth seeking His daily blessings.

Most of all, go forth knowing He will finish something great in you.

As it reads in, Philippians 1:6 (AMP), “I am convinced and confident of this very thing, that He who has begun a good work in you will [continue to] perfect and complete it until the day of Christ Jesus [the time of His return].”

Act like it. 

Talk like it. 

Walk like it. 

You are cherished, not cursed.

You are loved, not lacking.

You are purposed, not pitiful.

You are single, NOT sorry. 

Leah Hadder

Leah Hadder is a former internationally recognized pageant queen. Now retired from competition, she shares about the love of Jesus as a speaker and writer. She resides in the beautiful state of Tennessee. Contact Leah at www.leahhadder.org.