I worry that I do not spend as much time with my son as a did with my daughter. I fear I do not teach my son as much as I did my daughter and that he will not be as smart as she is. I worry that my daughter does not feel as loved as my son because he is babied and she currently has more rules.

Anyway, birth order kept coming up as I thought about this topic, so I decided to look into the topic a little further. I found out about all the characteristics of each child in relation to their birth order. Here are a few: a first born child is characterized as being reliable, an achiever and a natural leader. Middle children are parent pleasers, thrive on having friendships, have a large social circle and are peacemakers. The last born are the fun loving ones of the group. Only children are more mature.

Yes, my daughter is a natural leader, and my son is such a fun little guy, but does it really matter that they are so different from one another?

I realized that even though they contrast one another, they both have equally unique qualities. They both have wonderful characteristics that make them who they are, mainly because of when they were born in relation to the other. Being born second allows my son to be outgoing and seek attention from others in a different way than my daughter. Being first born means I was able to spend time with my daughter teaching her new things, but it also means that she will be able to teach my son more things as well!

Every family goes through the same general makeup in relation to birth order. Whether they have an only child, two children, three or more, they still rejoice and struggle with birth order issues according to their family makeup.

Honestly, birth order is what makes our children so amazing because it’s what creates each of them the way they are! Siblings or no siblings-how they are born into a family forms them into the wonderful child they are (and it also gives them their quirks too!).

Checking into the whole “birth order” thing, honestly, helped ease my mind. I can stop freaking out about whether or not I spend enough time with my second child, teaching him as much as I did my first. I can calm my anxiety that I made so many mistakes with my first child because now I realize that is exactly what make each of them who they are.

I can also begin to let go of some of the fear of raising my children and take a deep breath and realize I am doing the best I can under the given circumstances.

I am hoping you can take a sigh of relief as well and remind yourself that you are an amazing mom too! Please remember to not be so hard on yourself as a mommy and praise yourself for raising such an amazing little human!

You see, we could choose to bask in the hardships of our parenting life or we could rejoice in all the victories of raising our children. It’s a hard job we have, but it’s also one of the most rewarding things I have ever done in my entire life!

Brittany Dyer

Brittany is a counselor turned missionary living in Bangkok, Thailand. She married her high school sweetheart and now has 2 beautiful children with him. She loves to travel, bake, eat ice cream and have dance parties with her kiddos! Follow her blog at www.followthedyers.com