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“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” – Psalm 113:9

She is the woman in the back corner at the baby shower who is fighting back tears because she recently had a miscarriage. Or the woman who quickly walks past the baby aisle in the grocery store. You recognize her because she sits in the back of the church every Mother’s Day hoping no one will see her quiet tears. She is the young woman who has been married for several years and tries to avoid the constant reminder and questions regarding her infertility. Yes, that woman, that barren woman is me and hundreds of thousands of women around the world. You are not alone even when it feels like you are the only one still waiting for your miracle baby. God knows your pain and sees your tears each month when your cycle comes on or when there is only one pink line. For years I was a slave to my “dark days” each year around Christmas and New Year’s because that was the time I lost my child 3 years ago. I couldn’t enjoy the holidays with my family because in the back of my mind I remember being so excited I couldn’t wait to tell our parents only to break their heart the next week.

Sometimes you want to forget it ever happened. You wish God would take away the horrible memories that often flood your mind. I know it is hard to see it right now but God has not forgotten about you and He will soon remember you as he remembered Hannah in 1 Samuel 1:19 “And they rose up in the morning early, and worshipped before the Lord, and returned, and came to their house to Ramah: and Elkanah knew Hannah his wife; and the LORD remembered her.”

God is not punishing you. He does not hate you and no, you did not do anything to deserve it. He loves you with an everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). You are so precious to Him I know it’s hard to believe because of all the pain and anguish you have to endure from others who constantly taunt you like Peninnah did Hannah. It breaks your heart every time you receive the reminder each month that you are not a mom. God knows and when you are wondering where God is in that moment, He is right there with His arms wrapped around you comforting you as your rock back and forth crying your eyes out on the floor next to the negative pregnancy test. He said in His word, “…I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee” (Hebrew 13:5).

Here are a few scriptures I focus on to keep my faith strong in the midst of barrenness.

1) “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” – Hebrews 11:1

Continue to trust God even when it takes every ounce of faith within you. Your faith is the bridge between your prayers and the answer to your prayer. You may not physically have your baby in our arms right now but with faith you can visualize it and praise God in advance for answering your prayers.

2) Not boasting of things without our measure, that is, of other men’s labours; but having hope, when your faith is increased, that we shall be enlarged by you according to our rule abundantly.” – 2 Corinthians 10:15

Learn how to hope beyond hope. To hope beyond hope is to simply trust God to bring your prayer to fruition even though reality (the doctor reports, the tests, your biological clock etc.) is saying it’s impossible. Remember with God ALL things are possible if you just believe (Matthew 19:26).

3)  Delight thyself also in the Lord: and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” – Psalm 37:4

God knows the desire of your heart is to have a baby. Once you have prayed for your desire you must leave it at God’s feet. Praise God for what he is going to do in your life. Remember Hebrews 11:6 states, “But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” In order for us to please and delight ourselves in God we must have faith. Praising God is evidence that you believe Him and His word.

Saviela Edwards Thorne

Hi, or as we say in the South, Hey y'all! My name is Saviela Edwards Thorne, I am the wife to an amazing Man of God, Teacher Assistant, Musician and Christian DJ. I am a devote Christian, inspirational writer, motivational speaker and singer (on my good days). I love to encourage and empower women through my personal life experiences. After almost losing my life through an ectopic pregnancy in 2013, I am learning not to take life for granted but to see each day as a New Beginning.

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