So God Made a Teacher Collection (Sale!) ➔

Beyonce’s daughter wore a designer dress that cost thousands of dollars to an award show. Well, alright, I get that many people feel it’s extravagant. I mean, she’s like, four-years-old, right? She probably doesn’t need, and maybe she doesn’t even want, an expensive dress.

When I first saw the pictures and read about the cost of the dress, I will admit that I, too, thought it was a bit much. However, it’s really none of my business how much anyone, Beyonce or the neighbor down the street, spends on his or her daughter’s clothing. Plus, I’ve got more important things to think about such as presidential elections, back-to-school backpack organization, how the heck I’m going to get more sleep, find a “real” job, get my first book published, and how to minimize the lines on my forehead.

Seriously, people, sh*t just got real.

What I find to be most disturbing is the number of tweets, Facebook posts, and online comments all over the Internet that proclaim how “ugly” Beyonce’s daughter is. What in the heck is wrong with people? Most of the online comments were written by grown-a$$ adults who clearly have nothing better to do but to sit around all day long reading entertainment magazines and post crap about someone’s child.

Yes, I said, “Child.”

Blue Ivy is someone’s little kid. She probably plays with dolls, likes to paint, eats chicken nuggets (albeit more than likely made by an authentic organic-certified, highly trained person chef), but still, she is somebody’s baby regardless of who might be cooking her meals, and despite the fact that her parents can afford to buy her expensive dresses.

This child, who isn’t even old enough to attend school yet, is being called “ugly” by adults.

Sickening.

First of all, who are these people who have all the time in the world to sit around and comment about how ugly someone’s kid is, and why can’t they all find something better to do? I’m going to just throw it out there and guess that none of these douchebags are the sharpest tools in the shed. They probably don’t volunteer a lot of their free time helping the homeless or underprivileged. I bet they don’t teach adults to read in their spare time. They seem to me to be jealous, self-absorbed, petulant, immature and cowardly folks who, sitting behind a computer screen, use their words to cause pain, hurt feelings and make themselves feel better by tearing down other people’s kids.

Maybe these people don’t talk badly about their friends’ children. Maybe they don’t even say mean or hurtful things about the children at their kids’ schools or in their own neighborhoods, but only reserve the awful insults for the rich and famous. After all, most of those darn celebrities deserve to hear that hundreds of the “common people” think their kids are hideous, don’t they?

See, I don’t think they do. I don’t think that even if you are Beyonce, the President of the United States, or anyone else in the world, that you deserve or need to hear that there are adults out there who think your kid is ugly. I certainly don’t believe that those celebrities’ kids need to read online one day that numerous people thought that they were ugly children. Who is that going to help, and why do we, as a civilized society, think it’s okay to badmouth someone else’s kid?

It’s one thing to criticize an adult celebrity. I don’t agree with body shaming an adult or even calling an adult celebrity “ugly”, but an adult can fight back. An adult celebrity chooses, in most cases, not all, to post pictures of herself, so she probably knows there will be some negative comments. But when people start picking on children, that’s when my blood boils.

So, here’s my advice for those of you who think it’s perfectly okay to bash someone’s kid…

  1. Get a job.
  2. Go to school.
  3. Look in the mirror.
  4. Spend some time with a child, like, some REAL time. Afterwards ask yourself, “Is it truly okay for me to talk about this child’s looks?”
  5. Go for a walk.
  6. Have some ice cream.
  7. Adopt a shelter animal.
  8. Don’t be a dick.
  9. Don’t be a bitch.
  10. Figure out why you decided to post about how ugly you think a child is, and fix what’s wrong with YOU.

Kids are kids no matter who their parents are. They have feelings, just like the rest of us, and just like your own children do. How would you feel if someone told you that your son or daughter was ugly? What would you do? What would you say?

Stop tearing down children. It’s rude, it’s distasteful, it hurts, and it’s bullying.

If you are an adult, and you post something hurtful online about someone else’s child, you are a bully and you need to grow up. Clearly you have forgotten what it feels like to be called names, and you have lost what it means to be a compassionate human being.

Do better, get you sh*t together, and get a life. You’ll be happier, trust me.

 

Tammi Landry-Gilder

Tammi is an author, wife, mother and blogger who lives in West Bloomfield, Michigan, with her husband, two sons, three dogs, and too many fish in a tank to count.

Little Things Can Be Self Care Too

In: Motherhood
Woman reading a book

My third baby has never been a great night-time sleeper. Around eight months old, he decided to add more middle-of-the-night feedings. He went from his usual two nighttime nursing sessions to four, five, or even more. With all the wakeups, I was getting a dismal amount of sleep. My lack of sleep led to low energy, low patience, and an overall low mood. I was constantly tired and grumpy. When playing with my kids, I would feel like I was in a fog. I was not able to enjoy their silliness or creativity but instead became easily annoyed and frustrated....

Keep Reading

I’m Done Feeling Guilty for Struggling with My Mental Health

In: Living, Motherhood
Woman walking down a sunny road

My mental health hasn’t been great for the past week. I couldn’t put my finger on what was going on, I just knew I was struggling. My whole body felt like I was squeezing, holding in the building tension of life, trying not to burst on innocent bystanders in my path. It took me days to finally clue in that it was my anxiety, a handful of little things combining to create a perfect storm. The endless cycle of sickness hitting my family, parenting pressure, and pain from past trauma. In retrospect, I guess it wasn’t little things at all,...

Keep Reading

Dear Overstimulated Mama, You Need Rest

In: Motherhood
Woman resting head on wall

To the overstimulated mama, I know you used to be a person who loved singing and dancing, games and riotous dinner parties with friends and family. You probably had the energy for a fun evening and loved to cuddle with your man. I’m sure your outfits used to bedazzle and your hair and makeup would make you feel like a million bucks. Oh, how times have changed. Now, a Friday night on the couch is the most coveted activity after a week of little hands all over you, pulling, dragging, squeezing. Your kids keep most of the cuddles you used...

Keep Reading

Trying To Conceive Almost Ruined Our Marriage

In: Baby, Marriage, Motherhood
Man and woman back to back on bed

“I know it’s not true, but I feel like you don’t love me anymore.” My husband’s words caused me to freeze in my tracks. I had been on my way out the door, but as soon as those words were uttered, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere. The words hung in the air, and I held my breath, mind racing. What could I possibly say to that? I slowly turned around, silently waiting for my husband to continue. Which he did. “I feel like you don’t want to have sex with me anymore.” I cringed internally. Clearly, I wasn’t the...

Keep Reading

Every Time the Doctor Says, “It’s a Girl!” My Heart Grows a Little More

In: Kids, Motherhood
Sisters sitting on park bench

When I’m in the grocery store with my girls, I always get comments. My oldest girls are walking near the cart with my two-year-old running up and down the aisles. “Three little girls! Wow! God bless you, Momma!” Then they look in my cart and see the car seat holding my nine-month-old. “Is that a baby boy in there?” “No, another girl!” I reply. I get a variety of responses when people realize I have four girls under the age of seven. “Wow, you’ve got your hands full!” “Going to try for a boy?” “You are truly blessed—your girls are...

Keep Reading

When Your Last Baby Goes to School

In: Child, Motherhood

In just a few short weeks, our daughter will start preschool.  On Monday and Wednesday mornings, she’ll sling her little backpack over her shoulders, pull on her tie-dye sneakers, and head out the door. If you ask her about it, she’ll get a big grin on her face and tell you how excited she is. But me? While I’m ready for her to go and fully confident she’ll thrive, my stomach has also been doing flip-flops at the thought. Because she’s our youngest. Our little. Our last. If you’ve been here before, you know: When your last baby goes to...

Keep Reading

Raising a Child with a Severe Food Allergy Affects the Whole Family

In: Kids, Motherhood
Little boy looking at ice cream cone

I saw something recently that said, “It’s National Ice Cream Day today!” and I cannot stop thinking about it. Now I know that sounds silly, but as a mom of a child with a severe dairy (and egg) allergy, I must admit at times it makes me sad (and more often jealous if I’m being completely honest) when I know my son is going to miss out on another fun or “normal” thing that other kids his age are experiencing, like actual ice cream and ice cream parties. If I continue to be honest, I get jealous when I see...

Keep Reading

So You’re Not the Fun Parent…So What?

In: Kids, Marriage, Motherhood
Woman reading book while two play in background

I’m not the fun parent in our household. Of course, this comes as no surprise to me but it still stung when my 8-year-old said to me rather bluntly the other night, “Daddy’s way more fun than you.” And while the rational part of my brain knows better than to take this kind of comment to heart, my super-sensitive, highly emotional primitive brain did the exact opposite and ran with it.  Daddy is the more fun parent. I’m the stricter, more rigid, and more uptight parent. I’m not the type of parent who, in the spur of the moment, will...

Keep Reading

The Rollercoaster of Foster Care and Adoption

In: Living, Motherhood
Mother daughter photo on beach

After spending most of their childhoods in foster care, Addy and her brother Dominick had never been to a birthday party or down a water slide. They missed out on many childhood staples, but it was the least of their concerns. Addy was riddled with anxiety and panic attacks—crippled with fear that she would age out of the system before getting adopted. She carried a backpack full of anxiety fidgets to cope with her uncertain years in foster care. She had such a bad case of TMJ that the kids at school mocked her for adjusting her jaw every ten...

Keep Reading

I Had the Strict Mom

In: Motherhood
Daughter and mom in background

I was raised by a mom who people referred to as the helicopter mom, the overbearing mom, or (my favorite) the strict mom. Until the age of 21, when I moved out, I spent a lot of time looking at the four walls of my bedroom or outside with my sister. The only freedom I got was when we went to the store and I would wander off from my mama. I had close friends that lived two doors down from me and I wasn’t allowed over. I missed a lot of kickball games, birthday parties, and sleepovers. I also...

Keep Reading

Get our FREE phone wallpaper to encourage you as the new school year begins

It's bittersweet for a mother to watch her child grow—but you both are ready to soar.