Our Keepsake Journal is Here! 🎉

Every Christmas I tend to reflect on past Christmases, especially with the new year approaching. I fondly recall memories and add in some self-reflection. But this Christmasthis Christmas there is so much more to ponder. Because this Christmas is not the same.

This Christmas I decorated an apartment for me and my daughters. Last Christmas I decorated a home I owned with my then-husband.

This Christmas I am watching Christmas movies by myself. Last Christmas I was begging him to watch them with me.

RELATED: Divorce is a Series of Unfortunate Events That Can Still Have a Happy Ending

This Christmas I am planning a 14-hour drive to visit my parents. Last Christmas such a drive involved us taking turns when weary.

This Christmas I am focusing on activities with my daughters and quality time. Last Christmas I was pressured by their father’s need for expensive gifts.

This Christmas I am a single mother. Last Christmas I was a wife and mother.

This Christmas I took down the family pictures on the tree’s ornaments. Last Christmas I had added family pictures.

This Christmas I plan to love on my friends. Last Christmas I barely had friends.

This Christmas I am baking cookies with two toddlers. Last Christmas their dad and big sister joined in.

This Christmas I’ll sip on some wine before the night wanes. Last Christmas I dodged the drunken anger that darkened the day.

This Christmas I am safe and surrounded by love. Last Christmas I was afraid and desperate for love.

This Christmas I grieve the picture in my head of how my marriage and family were supposed to be. Last Christmas I grieved the fights on Christmas Day in front of my children.

RELATED: To the Mom Trying So Hard To Create the Perfect Christmas

Last Christmas I was eager to fix what was supposed to be the perfect day. This Christmas I am thankful for new beginnings.

And so this Christmas as I consider my annual musings, it feels bitter-sweet. Divorceregardless of the reasonschanges the holiday season. But isn’t that what Christmas is for? In a year where pain and loss have been preeminent, this Christmas, I embrace the undying magic in the eyes of my two little girls.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

A Cogent

I am a blessed wife and working mama to two little girls, who are 18 months apart in age. Vocationally, I am a medical laboratory scientist; however, my favorite hobby is writing, highly influenced by my journey as a formerly single mom navigating beyond various traumas in my life. My sole purpose is to reach the one person who needs to know she is not alone.

The Thing No One Tells You About Divorce

In: Living
Sad woman selfie

This is the part of divorce no one talks about. The more I’m forced to learn about divorce, the more I think it’s a lot like motherhood. No one tells you about the padsicles or how much labor actually hurts. They don’t mention the depth of the sacrifice you’ll have to make, or how you’ll sometimes wish you could have just one day in the life you knew before. If they did, you might wrongly believe you couldn’t do it, that you weren’t quite strong enough to survive all it would demand of you. You’d be wrong, but your fear...

Keep Reading

Divorce Was Not the End of My World

In: Marriage
single mother www.herviewfromhome.com

There are storms of emotion involved with the big D-word. No matter the cause or circumstances divorce is quite the beast to bear. I cried and screamed and was utterly broken. I mourned the traditional life I had always dreamed of, but my world did not end. Looking back, I can recognize the stages of grief but at the time, it was one foot in front of the other. As thoughts and sorrow overwhelmed, I would take huge gasps of air and tell myself out loud that this too shall pass. I clung to the teeter-totter of ups and downs...

Keep Reading

I Was Better Off Divorced

In: Marriage, Motherhood
I Was Better Off Divorced www.herviewfromhome.com

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” the nurse said at my baby’s 18-month checkup. I put my hands over my going-on-3-year-old’s ears, a little too late. I didn’t know what to say. I had tried to hint at the change of circumstances. “We’re living at Grandma’s house. We just moved in. No, we won’t be going back to our other house. No, it is not being renovated. It’s just Daddy’s house now.” I knew this was a necessary topic for discussion, but just how does one sum it all up in a politically correct elevator speech, suitable for all audiences? It had taken...

Keep Reading