Christmas is perhaps the most nostalgic time of the year. Few things are more picturesque than an adorned tree surrounded by tasteful (or tacky) holiday décor. We are drawn to the comfort of repetition, complete with the backdrop of Christmas, often with a fireplace and mugs of cocoa.
Traditions root us. Liturgies are purposeful practices that connect physical actions with values and priorities. But for some of us, there may be shame that our Christmas is not adorned with wholesome customs.
Maybe you just try to survive the season as the busyness swarms around you. Maybe you didn’t grow up with uplifting traditions and struggle starting them from scratch, or maybe you are far from family or estranged from them, and the warm fuzzies don’t accompany your holiday. Maybe you try your hardest each year to make meaningful memories, but your family seems disinterested. Whatever your story, you are not alone in experiencing it, and the good news is that there is freedom to celebrate in a myriad of ways.
I have an interesting relationship with Christmas. As a child, Christmas was magical and spiritually formative. But in my adulthood, my parents stopped celebrating Christmas due to changing religious beliefs. This was jarring, to say the least. I stepped away from Christmas myself for a few years to consider why I had practiced the holiday and whether my husband and I should keep doing so with our young, growing family.
Those years we quietly stepped away from Christmas, it was strange to be surrounded by yuletide joy but not to partake. I learned there is no Christmas mandate. The Bible never tells us to “Keep Christ in Christmas” or that “Jesus is the reason for the season.”
Yet it also taught me the power of the church universal. I missed joining in something bigger than myself in focusing on Christ and his arrival at a designated time in which other believers around the world were doing the same.
We have slowly come back to Christmas, focusing on how this man-made observance can orient us heavenward. It is the same with many man-made creations, be it a good song from a hymnal or a C.S. Lewis story; they are not in themselves empowered but can point us to the one who is.
We now always spend Christmas with my in-laws, which has brought joy. But not incorporating spiritual practices, being in our own home, or celebrating with the family I initially made holiday memories with also makes the day bittersweet.
I have heard others discuss the anti-climactic potential of Christmas. We may feel we are not devout enough if there is nothing else to look forward to after the presents are unwrapped. But it may be deeper. What we have really craved all year is closeness—with God and with others.
I have come to view Christmas as a season rather than simply a day. Instead of gathering on Christmas Eve to read the nativity story before opening gifts as I did as a girl, it means reading the story slowly several evenings leading up to Christmas week and choosing a morning to have a special breakfast and open gifts before we travel. It means lighting the Advent candle weekly.
My children’s memories will be how we commemorated the season, which fits well with the church calendar. The Advent season observes the month of December leading up to Christmas as a time of purposefulness. Christmastide is a beautiful concept endorsing twelve days of Christmas. After his much-needed change of heart, Ebenezer Scrooge said it well when he promised, “I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all year.”
Holiday liturgies can vary. Some years, my kids decorated ornaments for the Jesse Tree. Other seasons, we went through an Advent calendar connected with a Bible verse and a piece of candy. Sometimes, doing a devotional has been sufficient.
Liturgies are important. So yes, read the Christmas story. Light some candles. Create traditions that connect your family. Yet, if necessary, I pray you will find freedom to observe Christmas differently than your family of origin or even to adjust over time.
by Traci Davies 
by Jenny Albers 
by Karen Johnson 
