Have you ever had a day where you just need to scream? Who am I kidding… you’re a cancer mom, of course you have. Sometimes all you need is a good cry. The kind that cleanses your soul and feels like a huge load has been lifted from your shoulders. It’s a liberating feeling to really cry and let out every emotion. But you can’t always do that in the hallway of the oncology floor. Well… you can, but you might get a few looks.
Confession Time: Even though you think you always need to be strong, sometimes you just want to kick, scream, lose emotional control and shut yourself out of it all. Somewhere along the way, though, we learn to control our emotions in such difficult circumstances. Then one day you realize, you can’t always keep those feelings suppressed and tucked away. There will come a point where you can’t take it, and the vent will come whether you want it to or not. At least that was my view on being a cancer mom.
This is where shower therapy comes into play and I suggest you try it. After long hospital days, all I wanted to do was let my frustration out. Screaming and crying in front of my daughter, however, just wasn’t an option for me. Deep down, what I wanted my daughter to see was strength and peace, certainty that she would be okay. If she saw me cry, she would feel my sadness and it would affect her fight. Being positive was something I needed to put out there for Lyla to absorb and believe me, I tried. Unfortunately, like a lot of people, crying in front of others just isn’t something I easily do. The only place I was truly ever alone was in the shower. During shower therapy, I would cry and pray until I felt like I had nothing left. When the water turned off, every tear, every plea, every worry felt like it was washed away. All that was left was a feeling of beginning again, I felt recharged and ready to deal, until my next therapy session.
The best shower therapy sessions happened in room 3 on the 11th floor of Levine Children’s Hospital. Shower therapy sessions became a regular thing for me for quite a while, it kept me sane. Emotional strength is very important when It comes to caring for our ill children but we have to acknowledge that our strength is limited and we need moments to be vulnerable. Be real with yourself and know when you are reaching your limit. If you are feeling overwhelmed, give shower therapy a try.
Where do you cry your feelings out?
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