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I watched you hold his tiny body still while the doctor poked and prodded.

“Yep, it’s a peanut allergy,” the doc confirmed.

We already knew it, but we didn’t know pets and other nuts would be added to his list of allergies.

I saw defeat in your eyes.

“I’m just sad for him,” you whispered.

Me too.

Right now, it’s hard. We’re in the trenches. We’re raising a gorgeous baby boy with a new diagnosis and two sweet girls who will be tweens in a blink.

It’s exhausting and wonderful. Just like they said it would be.

It’s also fleeting. I tell you all the time, “We’re going to miss this. Don’t wish for it to go so fast, because it will.”

And it has.

But now, in this season, our time together is brief. We’re both working full-time. There’s bills to pay and laundry to fold. There’s church activities and school activities and meetings here and there.

It’s a season of “the baby is finally sleeping, let’s watch that movie we’ve been wanting to see” and “never mind, he’s crying, let’s try again tomorrow.”

It’s setting date nights, only to cancel because a kid is sick.

It’s longing for that vacation, only to postpone because taxes and medical bills and kid activities seem to take the monthly budget.

It’s stepping in cat puke, waking up to a broken coffee maker, worn brakes on the car we finally paid off.

Sometimes, it seems all we do is take two steps forward and one step back.

I know we’re tired. I know somedays I forget to shower let alone make time for you. I know my mind is always on work and the day-to-day and that sometimes, I don’t see you.

And I know there are days when you wish everyone would just grow up a bit. Maybe then we would all have more time.

But please, don’t wish it away, because I know we’re going to miss this.

When our kids are grown, we’ll have more time. We’ll watch the blockbuster movie in the actual movie theatre and we’ll finally take those dream vacations. We’ll celebrate our success and smile at our failures. We will toast the universe for a life well lived.

And we’ll miss these days.

We’ll miss those neck hugs by two little girls who adore our every move. We’ll miss watching them grow and learn and experience this life.

We’ll miss the baby giggles, and the first day of school.

We’ll even miss that old cat.

Cute husband of mine, let’s just hold on. Let’s try to soak in the madness of this beautiful mess. And please remember, whenever you’re feeling worn, just know you can always count on me. I’m feeling it, too. And there’s no one else I would rather do this life with than you.

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Leslie Means

Leslie is the founder and owner of Her View From Home.com. She is also a former news anchor, published children’s book author, weekly columnist, and has several published short stories as well. She is married to a very patient man. Together they have three fantastic kids.  When she’s not sharing too much personal information online and in the newspaper – you’ll find Leslie somewhere in Nebraska hanging out with family and friends. There’s also a 75% chance at any given time, you’ll spot her in the aisles at Target.

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