Such big blue eyes for your tiny face. Staring into them, I saw a world of possibilities for you. Would you be a doctor, like Daddy? An attorney, like Mommy? Would you be president? Be into music? Would you find love, get married, and have precious babies of your own?
Your eyes could melt my soul.
I loved to gently caress your smooth, soft skin, right at your temple. Slow, round circles. You’d hold my hand with your too-tight grip, and I would whisper, “I love you,” as I rocked you in the soft gray chair. The world was quiet. It was just you and me, softly singing as I rocked you back to sleep.
Your laugh was the most beautiful melody, floating around the room and filling it with pure joy. Your laughter is a gift from God. There’s no other sound as beautiful. I would do anything to hear you laugh. Silly faces, songs, tickles. Getting you to laugh was winning the most sought-after prize. Nothing was better than the sound of your sweet giggles bouncing through the house.
“I love you, momma.” The most magical words I’ve ever heard you say.
And when you said them on your own for the first time, unprovoked, I was speechless. Teary-eyed with love threatening to bubble out of me. Now you tell me you love me “much,” and I know your heart is full of love. Mine is too. An unyielding passionate love. An unexpected love. A love so strong that a piece of my heart is walking around outside my body day after day as you face owies and challenges and the world.
You, my sweet, angel boy. You are incredible. You are so amazing I don’t have words to describe it. As I watch you growing up every day, I know I will miss the late-night cuddles and the nap times in the chairs. I know I will miss holding your soft chubby hand. I will miss kissing owies and singing your song. My precious boy. My sweet darling boy, I love you. My heart aches to hold you. I love you.