When my youngest child was a freshly turned toddler, she wasn’t talking, walking, or acting much like a toddler. She was very much still a baby in regards to most physical and cognitive development. When I checked off the age-appropriate developmental list at the pediatrician at well-child appointments, my stomach churned at every “no” or “not yet” box I checked.

My oldest child hit every developmental milestone literally months early. He was talking in sentences by 18 months and running laps around the house at one year. I only have two kids (and we all know we aren’t supposed to compare our children to each other, but we all do it anyway), and my oldest paved my way through motherhood. His normal was all I knew when baby number two came along.

When little sister was different, I worried.

I would always try to push the worry out of my mind, but it would creep and find its way back into the forefront of my mind, especially when I saw other people’s kids who were the same age and younger than mine hitting milestones.

RELATED: To the Mother of a Child Missing Milestones

When I found out that someone close to me had said it was my fault my youngest wasn’t progressing developmentally like my oldest did, I was utterly crushed. 

Was I able to play and work with my youngest as much as I did when my oldest was my only child? Of course not. It wasn’t pressure I put on myself necessarily, it was just that I obviously had a heck of a lot more time to focus on one child at a time when I only had one child. Having kids 25 months apart had me spinning for months and still does over two years later, to be honest. If you are struggling to come to terms with the fact your child isn’t necessarily like the other children their age, then I want to tell you something.

Mama, it’s not your fault. 

If your child isn’t hitting developmental milestones, it’s not your fault.

If your child is struggling, it’s not your fault.

If your child presents differently than other children you know, it’s not your fault.

Years from now, no one is going to care if your child walked at eight months or 18 months.

Years from now no one is going to care what age they were potty trained.

Years from now, no one will care if they learned their letters at two or in kindergarten.

RELATED: To the Mom of the Kid Who Doesn’t Get As: There’s More To Learning Than the Grade

If you have a child who is struggling in any aspect of their development then I want to reassure you: Mama, it’s not your fault. Every baby will forge their own path in their own way.

You are their mama for a reason.

Yes, there are times when interventional therapy or outside assistance is necessary, but there are plenty of examples when a child just learns to do something at their own pace, on their own time.

Every child develops on their own path. Every child was handcrafted by God in their own unique way, especially for you. He made that child for you. He knew you would be a good mama for them. He knew it because he knows all.

So God Made a Mother book by Leslie Means

If you liked this, you'll love our book, SO GOD MADE A MOTHER available now!

Order Now

Check out our new Keepsake Companion Journal that pairs with our So God Made a Mother book!

Order Now
So God Made a Mother's Story Keepsake Journal

Jordan Morgan

Wife & mama just winging this whole thing one day at a time. I have a love for words, travel, the South, family, Jesus, yoga, and a relaxing swing on the front porch. I try to find humor in all things and keep motherhood real – the good and the bad. My goal is to help women on the motherhood journey feel less alone. You can find me over on my blog at www.jordanmorgan.com on Facebook @jordanmorganwriter or on instagram @mamayogatn

No Wonder We Feel Like We’re Failing As Moms

In: Motherhood
Overwhelmed woman with kids in background

Just thinking about it exhausts me: I’m talking about information overload—too many opinions, too many experts, too many research articles, too many contradictions.  RELATED: Once Upon a Time, Before Smartphones and Social Media My shelves are full of books about parenting philosophies, spirited children, raising daughters, and sleep solutions. I follow positive parenting pages on Instagram. I have dozens of parenting articles saved on Facebook. With the click of a button, I can go to Google or an online moms’ group to ask a question about screen time, feeding, sleep, discipline, education, childcare, development, safety, or products, and end up...

Keep Reading

I’ve Learned to Love Each of My Children Differently

In: Kids, Motherhood
I've Learned to Love Each of My Children Differently www.herviewfromhome.com

I had a beautiful and unexpected realization during my kids’ bedtime tonight. My seven-year-old, strong-willed daughter taught me that, without me even realizing it, she needs and receives my tender love every day. From birth, she’s preferred to be physically independent. After a feeding, she loved settling into her vibrating, bouncy chair. I did carry and wear her as a baby. But when I had my other two children, and I could compare her to them, I understood that her physical separation from me was more pronounced than theirs. As a toddler, she refused to hold my hand 100 percent...

Keep Reading

Feel Like You’re Failing, Mama? You’re Not.

In: Kids, Motherhood
Feel Like You’re Failing, Mama? You’re Not. www.herviewfromhome.com

Our dinner table can often be loud and messy, and eating out is risky business. But this particular meal in a small town restaurant was one for the books. We had stopped to take a break from our four-hour road trip with three kids under six. We had spent the weekend at the beach, and everyone in our car was overtired and on edge. So we weren’t too surprised when our quick trip to a restaurant with our tired crew went south within moments of entering the front door.  Before we reached our table, our oldest was in tears. He...

Keep Reading