By Cathy McCoy Collier 
I never expected to get divorced.
It was the last thing I wanted, and it took me 10 years to admit it was the best thing for me. When I first found out my husband had been unfaithful, I was devastated. We had been married for 22 years and, admittedly, we were struggling. Our children were nearly grown (one son in college and one was a senior in high school), our career paths were both successful (but seemed to be leading us in different directions a little too often), and I thought we were trying to find a way back to being a couple. I thought we’d be fine. It was a slump, right?
I insisted on going to a marriage counselor, and he agreed. Honestly, I was too afraid to think of leaving the marriage. How would it affect my children? How would I tell my parents? Where would I live? There were too many questions and not enough answers, so we went to counseling and fought for my marriage.
I stayed when it happened again.
And again.
When the last shoe dropped, I was done. Leaving my marriage was my only choice. Like many times before, I had way more questions than answers, but this time I couldn’t wait for the answers.
In the middle of the mess, I found my faith again. I found God waiting for me on the other side of my decision. With fresh eyes, I discovered He had prepared me for the decision all along.
Here are three ways I know He prepared me for the day I decided to leave my marriage:
The Friend
Months before my decision, I was eating lunch with a friend. He told me his wife of 25 years had announced she wanted a divorce, and he was lost. I listened to him talk about the legal aspects of a separation and divorce. The more I listened, the more I learned about divorce. I was hearing answers to questions I hadn’t asked.
The Book
One week before I decided to leave, I was reading a popular book. The main character’s mother described how she reached her limit. She was talking about domestic abuse (to be clear, there was no physical abuse in my marriage). She told how the first time it happened, she was surprised and even ashamed, but he apologized and promised to change. Then, the second time was somehow more embarrassing, but he begged to stay and gave more promises. Each time it happened, it seemed more normal, until one day it was too much. I felt my chest tighten as I read the book. I knew about surprise and shame and embarrassment all too well.
The Song
The day of my decision, I heard Matthew West’s Truth Be Told above all the noise and chatter of a restaurant. That song had significance in my life, as it had been the song I turned to during Covid. As a teacher, we told the students daily that it would be fine, but I wasn’t sure it would be. There was so much uncertainty. Now, in that restaurant, I heard it clearly: “I’m fine, yeah, I’m fine, oh, I’m fine, hey, I’m fine, but I’m not; I′m broken,” and I started crying. I surprised myself and my lunchmate with my reaction. I told my friend about how I felt like I was pretending during that time, how I felt broken, and how this song was my anthem.
When I returned from the restaurant that day, I found evidence my husband had been unfaithful again. That song was still ringing in my head. The last words in the song are: “I don’t know why it’s so hard to admit it, when being honest is the only way to fix it.”
It was time to be honest. Honest with myself. Honest with family. Honest with everyone.
I needed to leave my marriage.
Looking back, I know God wasn’t just standing on the sidelines; He was preparing me for my decision. He had put the friend, the book, and the song in my path, each with its own message to me. He quietly built my armor. He allowed me to have the strength to leap without looking.
He was beside me when I made my decision to leave, and He has guided my steps ever since.
by Judy Daniell 
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by Erin Uhlaender 
